chronic depression and feeling paralyzed

[Nickname_9656A407-7ADC-46]

I've had depression as far back as I can remember. It gets a bit better at times and then really bad. At the moment it's ok just paralyzing. I can't seem to do anything, stuck in the same position day after day.

 I try to better my life but the only thing I seem to be able to do at the moment is walk which gives some relief but then I have to go home and can't go for another walk until the next day. I try to do productive stuff at home but it seems pointless. Too hard. I have four kids aged 10 to 5 months and my partner is unemployed and at home 24/7. I think he's depressed too but won't admit it. I need to learn to drive, need to bring in money but it all seems like such a heavy weight I end up just pottering around the house until I collapse into bed at night waiting for my walk the next day so I can feel a bit better again. It's too hard to see a psychologist at the moment and when I think about going back on antidepressants I consider the side effects like persistent tiredness I get when on them and little relief with the down mood. I've tried a number of them and only had one with any good effect but still has the negative side effects.

 What are my other options? Is there a way I can pull up out of this without medication and psychotherapy? I'm so tired of feeling like everything is too hard and too much. 

[Bluererer]

Hi, it sounds like you are getting stuck in a holding pattern. It must be hard with four kids!

Have you considered attending a group such as Grow? The group I belong to is great, it gets me out at least once a week, and you can help others too.

[Doolhof]

Hi, thanks for sharing your story with us.

In my mind being a Mum to 4 children and having a stay at home husband would be enough to keep your busy all day. We do not have children, but I do have a stay at home husband while I go out working.

I understand the not having the energy to do things or the enthusiasm. Today I had wanted to achieve so much, but only managed a few of the things I had hoped to do.

I told myself that was okay. At least I managed to not stay in bed all day as I had first thought of doing.

Maybe you could Google depression and look for ways to help yourself with recovery and making your life different.

It all depends on what you like doing in life. Trying to paint a picture might brighten your day, as working in the garden might, or flying a kite with the children, baking biscuits, or maybe even a couple of hours of volunteer work a week might help you with work ideas and meeting new people.

There is a lot of information on this site as well that you might find helpful.

From Dools