Christmas woes

[Ulysses]

Hi I know I posted about my job anxiety on here but now I’ve realised what’s been driving the other side of my illness...depression. I realise that my kids have no time for me and have decided not to come for Christmas, despite living one hour away. Christmas was so very special each year, but apparently that’s no longer the case. I just get a sigh and “I’m just not into it this year”. But it’s not just Christmas. It’s every special occasion, or even any excuse to see them. I just can’t stop wondering, what is life without family? Friends have been letting me down lately so family is all I’ve got. I paid for a friend to fly and visit but she didn’t even get on the plane. I kind of wish I could adopt a family who would appreciate being spoilt for Christmas.

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

Maybe you could invite yourself to their house instead of having Christmas at yours?

Maybe try looking for gatherings on Meetup.com

[rosiemay]

Hi Ulysses,

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with the Christmas season. I will admit that I have had similar problems, although in the opposite capacity. I have distanced myself from my family the past few christmas' due to my anxiety. I have trouble communicating with the people I love because sometimes I don't think they will understand. Very recently however, I called my mum and expressed how I was feeling although it was hard for me to do so. We reached an understanding and this is the first Christmas in a while I have hope for.

I think what I'm trying to get at is don't be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends. They may not comprehend how their actions make you feel.

I hope this held in some way.

[geoff]

hi Ulysses, Christmas is a very difficult time for many people and for you not to have your kids come around to be with you on this day is certainly disappointing, whatever the reason is, so I'm so sorry that you maybe with no one else, perhaps you could visit a 'soup kitchen' and either help out or join in with the group, I'm sure you would be welcome. Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear Ulysses~

Its a bit ironic, you are feeling the lack of people coming to you, and it does not sound as if it is just Christmas, and have taken all the steps one reasonably could -even going so far as to finance a visit.

I think Geoff has a point. At Christmas time -and throughout the year actually, social organizations, St Vinnies, Salvos, Smith family and so on are hard pressed for volunteers to help out. And that help can be anything from cooking to handing out presents to collecting donations to reading to... Well, you get the idea.

Going down this path is not only personally satisfying but does real good in the community. It allows you to meet a great cross-section of people from all walks of life and often new friendships are formed. You do not have to be particularly fit, or have a lot of money for incidentals to do these things.

The other thing you will notice straight away is that rather than dealing with a reluctant family and set of friends you will be with appreciative people.

Croix

[Ulysses]

Thanks Geoff I’ll look into it

[Ulysses]

Thanks but no they don’t want to do Christmas this year. My ex is having Christmas though with my son and the boy I half brought up as my son. I’m not allowed anywhere near them as the new Thai girlfriend said it’s against her cultural values

[Ulysses]

Thank you for your heartfelt reply. I’m discovering there is a world out there of people like us and in that we are never really alone. Imagine when I discovered there are hundreds of dedicated sites on Facebook to people just like us. I have invited my boyfriends brother for Christmas as he would have been alone. This makes me feel a lot better as I’m saving someone else from loneliness at this time of year. You go for it and push yourself into the cheer. I’ve decided I’m going to give it my best shot 🙂