Christmas is hard

[My_New_Reality]

I find these days hard because I have to interact with people and spend several hours at Christmas lunch and dinner and appear to be fine. I'm very low, and I want to curl up quietly for a few days. Instead I have a house full of people and scheduled events and demands. I just wanted to tell someone. My psychiatrist is of course on holidays.

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

Please read my latest thread Fortress of survival. It might help.

Niw, for Xmas you might need to delegate some tasks. People are more than willing to help but don't want to hurt you by taking over.

Next, say to yourself "I am not in this world to live up to others expectations"

Di not go to or do things that place pressure upon you. Would you expect a paraplegic to walk? No.

Draw your boundaries but remember, mist people diny "get" your condition. Be patient.

When the opportunity presents itself, go for a lie down or a drive.

tony WK

[loouuiiee]

this is just a quick fix

and it is a little bit sneaky ...

if your finding it too much tell everyone you feel really sick, you don't feel yourself, you feel terribly ill ... pretend you have a fever or a sore throat or a migraine and delegate all the things on the Christmas chore list to others while you sit quietly to try and 're-cover' by yourself because you don't want to 'risk getting anyone else sick', and then send yourself to bed nice and early because your illness has really taken it out of you.

Normally I wouldn't condone lying and pretending to be sick ... but Christmas celebrations can be very overwhelming, especially when everyone is happy and you feel pressured to act accordingly.

Just focus on getting through this and possibly consider opening up to someone and telling them that your struggling if you can. One step at a time ... take it day by day 🙂

[My_New_Reality]

Thankyou for replying. It means a lot. I'm lying down now before an evening full of people. I'll try to do that tomorrow. Be like Nanna after lunch. Thankyou. It's good to be reminded I'm not just lazy.

[My_New_Reality]

Thankyou so much. Great advice. I always feel it's too hard to try to explain myself and so I carry on. Then I crash at home (not that I ever go out these days, I didn't attend one social event I was invited to). Thankyou. So nice of you to help. I really appreciate it. I can only hold up for about an hour.

[Zeal]

Hey,

You are definitely not lazy. Feeling overwhelmed by social interaction is difficult on many occasions, especially Christmas. I don't have any specific suggestions, but I will give you some links that you may like to check out:

http://www.mindhealthconnect.org.au/

https://www.stpatricks.ie/blog/8-tips-minding-your-mental-health-christmas

There is also a new thread on the forum: 'CHRISTMAS 2016/NEW YEARS Chillout Lounge' in the BB Social Zone.

I hope your Christmas Day is as pleasant as possible 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[SubduedBlues]

I passed your advice onto a good friend, and he said it worked wonderfully. said to pass on his gratitude.

So... thank you loouuiiee

SB

[Ellu]

Dear My_New_Reality,

Guess what, CHRISTMAS IS OVER. We survey the papers from unwrapped presents and the fridge full of leftover food and think "How did we survive that"? And now for New Year.

My doctor is very keen on what he calls Mental Hygeine. When you are tired, rest. When you find your mind whirling around calm it with a quiet walk or favourite music. A lot and of the symptoms we have are our mind's way of telling us to slow down and focus on OURSELVES. And a big part of that is learning to say no. Say no to requests you couldn't cope with, say no to things you just don't want to do. You have to take good care of your body and mind so that you can begin to heal. Do what feels right.Don't fall into the trap of doing what other people expect you to do. You will be amazed how liberating it is to put your foot down and insist that your health comes first!

So go to that New Year's Eve Ball if you want to - if you don't, stay home and do something which YOU would like to do.Personally I am going to curl up with a good book and be in bed before midnight. Interacting with other people can be very difficult, so follow your instincts and don't be afraid to hibernate when you need to. I don't know what you think of these Mental Hygeine tips, but they have helped me. Hope you are feeling better,

Ellu

[loouuiiee]

you are most welcome

it's a tried & tested technique haha

I think sometimes the best thing to do is take it easy on yourself, especially at Christmas time when everyone's expectations seem to get so high!

best wishes 🙂 xx

[My_New_Reality]

Thankyou Elly. It took me a few days to come back here and read your reply. I was in a very dark place. What you say is so true.

I find it hard though to distinguish what I want to do from what would be good for me to do. I would rather not leave the house when I am really down. But seeing a friend, or going for a walk, are all really hard to do, but so good for me.

Yes we got through Christmas. In some ways, I'm a little scared now that there isn't that milestone imminently ahead to stop me.