Chaotic and depressed

[KatieVic]

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16 years old, now 39. It's always been a Rollercoaster but the last few years, I've just wanted to get off the ride.

My son has complex ADHD, autism, anxiety and learning disabilities. 

My whole life is working a career job, helping my baby boy just survive  and trying to save a marriage that is failing from the stress of our child. We both love and adore him but anyone that knows complex ADHD, will understand the screaming, tics, anger, hyperactivity.

I wake up every day to a battle zone, a huge mental load and constant self doubt. I hate my life, my body and the choices I make.

I saw my GP and have been put on Pristiq, been feeling ill for a week now so that's another little prize ha.

How do others manage severe depression and on top of that situational depression from things in your life you cannot change.

He is beautiful and unique but raising a nuero-diverse child has burnt me out. It's like walking in a haze all day and never seeing anything good in this life.

Is there support out there for parents like us? I've done many years of psychology but feel I need a community. People that get what this life is like, where I don't feel so alone and judged? People that will build eachother up through shared experience and empathy.

Thank you

[Eagle Ray]

Dear KatieVic,

I really feel for you as it is so challenging dealing with your beautiful son's conditions and the strain that puts on your relationship as well. I am really hoping there may be others here in the same position as you who can provide support from experience.

I found a list of ADHD support groups for each state on the ADHD Australia website. I know this is just one aspect of your son's experience, but thought maybe it could be a beginning point. From your forum name I thought maybe you are in Victoria and I can see two of the groups there, Melbourne ADHD and ADHD United, provide online peer support communities including to families and parents. Groups from other states are listed too. You may be aware of these things already. I just found something else called My ND Kids Parent Support Group which is Australia-based that may be helpful. We aren't allowed to post direct links here but you should be able to google it. I can't speak from experience about such groups but just wondering if they may be helpful.

I have previously worked as an education assistant including with children with a range of special needs including those of your son, so I know it can be extremely full on, though I'm not a parent myself so I know it is at a whole other level managing on a constant basis. I'm on the neurodivergent side myself so I have huge empathy for the experiences of those who are neurodivergent along with their caregivers.

I think a community for you would be ideal. I have found in life that community is an antidote to depression. So I feel like it could really help you with that side of things if you can find others to connect with going through similar experiences. I think with neurodiverse kids having community is so meaningful and supportive. It can be validating and really lift you to have that support.

Take good care and you are always welcome here anytime.

Kind regards,

Eagle Ray