Dear Followyourheartxoxo,
your tale is one that stands out to me. The reason being, the name you use, the words you speak (type) and indeed the problem which ails you are reminiscent of a friend of mine. A friend whom I care deeply for and would do whatever it takes to put a smile back on her beautiful face.
To agree with Jo3, it seems as though you do possess the symptoms of depression. Don't let this weigh heavy on you though because like you stated, you have heard a lot of good feedback about the forums and who better to help you than those who tread or have a similar path.
My advice may seem simple, but in my experience, it proved to be helpful. And what is my advice? Talking. OK I will expand. As Jo3 said, seeing your doctor and getting a referral for a psych is a good place to begin. For a number of months, I saw a psych and made significant progress. Sure, our problems may differ, but results are results. I look back now and smile to think of how far I've come from the husk of a person I was prior to it.
However, a psych isn't the only person that is capable of helping. Even a call to the fantastic team here at Beyond Blue can help clear a stormy mind. Though they may be a stranger, I found talking to them was a casual, relaxing and above all, helpful experience. They helped me to feel like I wasn't alone with my problems.
Finally, even the closest of friends and family are great people to talk to. You would be surprised that even the brightest of people can harbor depression. Whether they do or don't, talking with someone familiar and even like-minded can be a positive experience. I saw sides of my age old friends which I never though existed. It helped to put my mind at ease knowing that I wasn't alone.
It doesn't matter who you choose to talk to, but at least doing so is a surprisingly easy and helpful way to clear your mind of negativity. Don't be afraid of crying though. It is a good way to release all that built up emotion. It is great that your eating and sleeping hasn't been affected. And as for your music, maybe avoid the sad songs.
I hope you are able to find your lost motivation and smile again. You are definitely in the right place to do so. Keep your chin up and I wish you all the best.
The Modern Day Gentleman
