Hello D Walsh
Welcome to the forum. You are most certainly not alone in having flashbacks. So many of us here experience this and it's not nice. There are times in our lives, such as exam time, when we feel anxious. It is a requirement to pass your exams to complete your degree so anxiety is normal. Sadly it then opens the door to all the other difficult times in our lives and we get flashbacks to these unpleasant events. At least that is how I think it works.
I see you have a specialist. May I ask what sort of specialist? Psychologist, psychiatrist? Are the meds for your anxiety or something else? I'm just trying to get a picture of you so to speak. No problem if you do not want to disclose anything. I take an antidepressant and have been having panic attacks recently. It makes me cross because I have not had these for many years. So my doctor upped the dose once then again a few weeks later. I hope to reduce the dose in the future but I'm not in a hurry. I would rather have a calmer life.
Medication does have role in mental illness, which is where depression and anxiety fit. Keeping the black dog at bay is hard work. May I suggest you stop trying and befriend the dog? Allow it into your life and recognise it for what it is, a nuisance. What does it remind you off and why do you not want to remember? Having gone through these or similar thoughts you can tell the dog to go, it's no longer required. It's a bit like training a real dog to sit quietly and not jump all over you. The more you relax the less anxiety you feel. Sounds easy doesn't it? No it's not but this is how to train the dog and keep you more comfortable.
Trying to shut out the thoughts only makes them more insistent I have found. Allowing them to wash over you and disperse uses less energy and gets a better result. It takes time for this to become your default action but it does help.
I would like to continue chatting with you if you think this will be helpful. You may find this book helpful. Living with IT by Bev Aisbett. IT is anxiety. It's an easy read with straight forward language. You can read it in less than an hour.
Mary
