Borderline Personality Disorder - Welcome to comment :)

[borderlinefemale89]

Hello Everyone.

I am 27 years old and for years I had been mis-diagnosed for 15 years as Schizophrenic, Schizo Affective, Bi Polar until finally, I got the right diagnosis of BPD.

I find it really hard to relate to people that don't understand what BPD people go through. We really do get misunderstood. My relationships can be intense, Like love interests. There is definetely the fear of being abandoned and for me constant re assurance that I was loved in my previous relationship. I also have extreme trust issues. I have learnt to try not to tell people to much anymore. I hate myself some days, then i think I am great? Struggle with self image and identity all the time its infuriating.

I haven't worked in almost a year, but may be getting a full time position in something I haven't done before. I feel I can do it, but I am also worried that I will be criticised too harshly by co workers, or even mainly by myself.

Please comment BPD community xx

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome BF89;

I'm happy you've found us here as we do care about you and your situation. Personality disorders can be the hard basket when it comes to diagnosis, that's for sure. I'm so glad it's helped you to understand yourself better.

You've given a little info about yourself; I'm wondering what you'd like to achieve by coming onto BB forum. Is there something specific you're looking for?

Starting a new job does come with a few worries, but running your own race so to speak is a good way to feel comfortable. You'll do well I'm sure.

Keep in touch to let us know how things go. There's lots of support and encouragement on here.

Take care...

Sara

[Sophie_M]

Hi borderlinefemale89, welcome to the forums.

If you have a look through our Depression section, you'll see a number of threads there from members with a diagnosis of BPD.  We also have a long running discussion in the Long Term Support Over The Journey section, which you are welcome to revive.

[Gazzas]

Hi BF89,

I am a man in my 30s and just discovered through my own reading that I probably have borderline. I can relate to everything you are saying. I pretty much quit every job I had and I've also been unemployed for over a year now. People always called me things like hypersensitive and told me I needed to toughen up but I had no control over it. I know the extreme shifts in mentality going from hating yourself to being proud of yourself, and the same thing with other people.

I did the same thing as you, eventually just tried to stop talking, close off, but that doesn't work either because it's hard enough to hold in regular emotions. Holding in the extreme emotions from BPD well you feel like you are going crazy. My last job I took sick days here and there to cope but that did not make the bosses happy and and the two of them called me in for a meeting and really went after me. After that I had an intense hatred for them.

Understanding makes things better. I am so glad that you found the correct diagnosis now and can start dealing with it. I'm sorry you were misdiagnosed multiple times. That must have been awful.

It wish I could give advice to you but I feel the same way as you. Hopeful there is some solution but also afraid the same pattern will just repeat over and over.

[james1]

Hello BF89 and Gazzas,

I'm another person here who just totally sucks at processing emotions and trusting people to not leave!

I think there's so many aspects of BPD that it's hard to know which aspects we share, but regardless, I know at least what part of the struggle looks like and it's not very nice at all!

I'm 25 now and only really got an understanding of BPD mid last year so it's all very new to me, but for me it's terrifying (albeit good to know) that not all my thoughts are as rational as I feel they are at the time. In fact, most of them aren't, haha.

But I'm seeing a psychologist now twice a week and hopefully it will help. That's probably the best advice I can give, but certainly that has it's struggles too. Still, if you want to share a bit more about how you're feeling and any particular struggles, there's endless support here on the forums! I also have the thread Sophie mentioned in my "My threads" tab so it shows when people respond there!

James