Big Emotions

[Maui757]

Hi All,

I've been working with my psych recently on my "big emotions" and trying to learn how to allow my emotions to be felt and heard, but not acted upon. Has anyone here done something similar?

I am struggling to grasp how to let an emotion be without acting on it. Isn't everything we do acting on emotions? I know there is logical thinking too, but emotions always seem to play a part for me.

To give some context, I've been struggling a lot with overwhelming feelings, getting stuck in the ditch of depression and finding that I don't want to get out of it. I go from living in a state of panic and anxiety, to hiding in the big black hole of depression where I don't feel anything. So my psych has been trying to work with me to learn how to "not be afraid of my big emotions". Because I tend to get very big emotions - If I feel happy, I feel REALLY happy, if I'm sad, I'm REALLY sad, Anxious - Extremely anxious, etc etc etc. you get the picture.

How do you go by when the feelings that come up feel SO overpowering? If I feel jealous, the only way to move past it is by distraction, but there's only so many ways I can distract myself! If I feel sad, I have to try and distract myself until the mood passes but again, sometimes I can't distract myself. So how does one deal with big emotions? Am I an abnormality here?

Maui

[white knight]

Hi,

What you describe - the high emotions and the low periods isnt that removed from my bipolar symptoms.

But in terms of distraction, something I am a great believer in, there is almost limitless ways out there. I used to have a spare room with a easel and a huge jigsaw puzzle. If bored or bothered, I'd go and do 10 or so pieces, then I'm ok again. The lack of mind control of which you speak is a real issue in daily living so we have to introduce many ways to fill our lives with activity.

I stumbled on this distraction stuff in 1996. I was separated, missed my kids and was depressed. But I works 3 jobs including shift work. Then decided to build my own home. I was so exhausted I didnt have the mental spare time to dwell on issues like my ex wife.

Relaxation I was wary of, now a big believer of. I lie down and do my muscle tensioning exercises as described in the thread "anxiety, how I eliminated it" (use search) an also listen any one on the many youtube videos by Prem Rawat Maharaji like (use google)-

Youtube Prem Rawat Maharaji sunset

Youtube prem rawat Maharaji the perfect instrument

All of these things help with calming ones self and that helps with emotions.

Without stepping on your psych toes, I was also diagnosed with dysthymia a low mood constant depression that for decades gave me high emotion and regular sadness with crying. A small amount of anti depressants fixed that. I have to say however, my immature emotional maturity finally caught up to my age at around 50yo. Before then I was around 10 years behind my real age.

TonyWK

[Maui757]

Hey TonyWK,

Thanks for the reply - that's all helpful stuff to know. I too listen to meditation music through Youtube!! Definitely helps me get to sleep, and can help calm me during the day.

What a great idea having a "distraction" room with a jigsaw - I love jigsaws! I just always forget about them. Perhaps I'll try that as well as a few other arty/crafty type things.

You're not stepping on my psych's toes at all - She would love if I were to go back onto an antidepressant, but unfortunately I do not react well to hormonal therapy of any kind. The 4 or 5 different antidepressants I have tried throughout the years have all had very negative responses with me, so it was agreed between my doctors, psych and myself that we would try and get through without, as they just made me feel really suicidal and I got all the side effects even after months and months of taking them. It makes my life trickier, but not impossible.

Thanks,

Maui

[Saree_p]

Hi Maui,

I agree with white night, those feeling are typical with a bipolar diagnosis - Which is scary I know.

Why i am chipping in now. You may find that antidepressants make you worse, as you described. I myself wind up very depressed or paranoid.

Forgive me if you have saod/answered this. Have you seen a psychiatrist and explained your issues? I mean your moods etc.

I know my psychologist (new one) wanted psychiatrist involvement for a diagnosis and medication. Sometimes the small hints they give are because they feel it will be helpful.

Mske the choices that are right for you!

Wishing you the best,

Saree

[geoff]

Hello Maui757, I think as kids when we grow up we are being told by anyone, friend, family member or teacher 'that there's nothing to be sad about or even cry' for a situation that they don't feel as though you should show any emotion.

How often does this happen, countless times and it doesn't allow you to express how you actually feel.

We can't numb our emotions, we can hide them but even pretending to deny them, we take on another type of emotion, one that takes on being something that we're not, and that's a difficult persona to become.

Rather than doing a jig-saw as Tony has suggested, and a good idea, I decided to paint the exterior window frames, strange maybe, but it was a distraction.

If you fight your feelings or your emotions then it's only going to cause you to extenuate the pain, so your negative feelings become much stronger, that's when you anticipate the worse, I been there and know that it's not pleasant at all.

Best wishes.

Geoff.