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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Tamara-Lee Always Angry and irritable
  • replies: 5

Firstly Hello to you all, this is my first time posting here. I am seeking some advice/help... I am 29 and a wife and mother to four, i find that i am constantly feeling angry and irritable even when i don't want to feel this way, certain things will... View more

Firstly Hello to you all, this is my first time posting here. I am seeking some advice/help... I am 29 and a wife and mother to four, i find that i am constantly feeling angry and irritable even when i don't want to feel this way, certain things will really set me off such as kids screaming, loud tv, water dripping and people chewing gum. How do i overcome these feelings?

Christine0912 Loneliness, days alone, and finding someone who understands.
  • replies: 3

Let me start by saying I have never posted here before and honestly I don't know what I am trying to achieve. I guess I'm just looking for someone, anyone, who understands this misery. I am a 25 year old woman and by all appearances I have a great li... View more

Let me start by saying I have never posted here before and honestly I don't know what I am trying to achieve. I guess I'm just looking for someone, anyone, who understands this misery. I am a 25 year old woman and by all appearances I have a great life. I have a good job that I love, and amazing supportive partner and family, and fantastic friends. And yet I have never felt more alone.I have struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. However in the last couple of months I have reached levels of misery, loneliness and emptiness that I never thought were possible. I am so tired. I am so tired, and yet no amount of sleep makes the fatigue dissipate. I have reached breaking point. I have no desire to harm myself, but I don't know how much longer I can endure this hopelessness.Both my parents have their own struggles with mental health and addiction, so I feel as though I can't talk to them because I don't want to add more stress to their already difficult lives. My partner loves me and wants me to be healthy but he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't understand why I can't just 'be happy'. I know they are just trying to help, but I am SO sick of the people in my life telling me to just 'go sit in the sunshine' or 'get out of the house' as if that is going to be some saving grace that I haven't thought of before. Don't people know how badly I want to have the energy to get myself ready and go out into the world?On my days off, I spend my time at home staring into nothingness or sleeping. I barely have the energy to shower or feed myself. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else is feeling this way and if so what do they do to help themselves on days where the emptiness feels like it is consuming you? It took me a long time to realise that this is an illness. I am seeing a psychologist and taking medication. I am doing all the right things, so why doesn't it feel like I am ever going to get better?

Mellbell I'm so scared...
  • replies: 8

Hello everyone, My name is melissa and i am 25 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about three years ago. This past year has been the most darkest of my life. My issues have now lead me feeling completely hopeless, worthless and ho... View more

Hello everyone, My name is melissa and i am 25 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about three years ago. This past year has been the most darkest of my life. My issues have now lead me feeling completely hopeless, worthless and honestly not wanting to wake up in the morning anymore. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 5 months that destroyed my self esteem, I endured months of bullying from my boss and I was too scared to stick up for myself, so I just quit after working at that place for 7 years. No good bye party, no we'll miss you, nothing. I attempted to try and study so I could get a better job but my depression mentally broke me just a few months in. Because all that i had to move back in with my parents, I failed at everything and now im just stuck with very large bills I have no idea how to pay for. I'm scared every day because I wonder what could happen to make my life harder and more stressful then it already is. I feel as though I am a burden to everyone around me now. My anxiety has gotten so bad I cant go shopping anymore, I cant go out to lunches or dinners anymore, I have anxiety attacks so bad I get physically ill, and thats just doing any task that requires me leaving my room. My family and friends believe I'm just being a b*** and that I don't want to spend time with them. I've explained to them that I have a mental illness, they don't care. My friends just stopped inviting me places, I have tried to get in contact and reach out to them but I have never gotten a reply, but I see them constantly spending time with each other. The same goes with my family, its like a punch im the stomach when they make plans with each other and not invite me. I do see my gp monthly and in the middle of switching to a new medication, my third one, but I don't see a point anymore. Its gotten to a point that I honestly believe that no one would even realize I was gone if I were to succumb to the mental illness. I honestly dont believe anyone would care. I'm fighting tooth and nail every day to keep going. I'm honestly sorry if I have bothered anyone by writing this, honestly I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm lying here in my bed at 2am, with tears pouring out my eyes, just begging for the voices to stop. To just leave me alone. I'm just so, so scared..

Bx It's all getting too much.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new to this and not really sure how to go about it all. So I guess I just start with how I feel. Everyday is like a constant battle with myself. I notice myself pushing people away but I can't stop myself from doing it. I can't stop myself fr... View more

Hi, I'm new to this and not really sure how to go about it all. So I guess I just start with how I feel. Everyday is like a constant battle with myself. I notice myself pushing people away but I can't stop myself from doing it. I can't stop myself from crying all the time or excluding myself from fun because i feel like I don't deserve to smile, i'm on medication and have been for a while though it's not changing how I feel about myself. I also get so tired of trying to explain why I am or why i'm this way. I'm at the point where I no longer have any friends and my family are just about to give up on me too. I feel so alone in a world full of people and I would just give anything to feel "normal" again. I hate that I frustate everybody around me and it feels like i'm a burden on people, I know that noone likes anybody who's constantly sad, I want to be happy but how do i start? I'm thinking about getting myself admitted in to a mental hospital because I just can't keep fighting myself everyday. It breaks my heart when the people I love tell me to just get over it and stop with the poor bugger me. I just feel as though I bring no joy to anybody and they just expect the worst from me or just sit back an wait for me too fall. I even feel silly trying to explain myself to strangers. Sorry and thank you for taking the time to read.

LonelyD I just can't take another 'life lesson'
  • replies: 3

This is my first post to BB but I am at the end of my 'strength'. Over the past 18 months my life has come crashing down around me and I can't find a way out of this hell. 15 months ago my business of nearly 10 years closed due to my ill health (I wa... View more

This is my first post to BB but I am at the end of my 'strength'. Over the past 18 months my life has come crashing down around me and I can't find a way out of this hell. 15 months ago my business of nearly 10 years closed due to my ill health (I was diagnosed with MS in 2008) 2 weeks before the closure of my dream my husband of nearly 15 years told me he didn't love me anymore. I had no idea he felt that way. The previous year I had 5 people around me pass away one from complications from MS on from suicide. My husband said he couldn't tell me at that point as he was worried what I would do. So I am alone, no job, few friends with a disease that renders me useless. I have heard the 'everything happens for a reason' and 'you will learn about yourself' too many times. I am on AD's and under mental health plan, but I just don't know what to do-where to go or who I am. I am a nice person. I am a good person. I don't need to learn anymore!!!!

Sharny My expression as such
  • replies: 2

I thought I'd share some feelings sorrounding some of my experience. For a long time these experiences have been hidden, in shame because in my experience that's what this illness makes a person feel whether it's wanted or not. I've tried hard to lif... View more

I thought I'd share some feelings sorrounding some of my experience. For a long time these experiences have been hidden, in shame because in my experience that's what this illness makes a person feel whether it's wanted or not. I've tried hard to lift those unwanted secondary feelings to the actual illness over a period of 10 years because I feel my illness has served enough. Unfortunately I'm still not there, the process of lifting those feelings which are nothing but destroying, they don't change a thing, the illness is in varying forms a part of who I am today and have been all along. So I have learned to try and fiercely rid myself of any extra burdens along my journey, I'm a work in progress. Full acceptance of having manic depression has not knocked on my door yet, I'll get there. At my worst, the depressive side enveloped me so bad that I struggled to 'feel', everything beautiful around me seemed like a chore in attaining, I asked the question why can't I get some nourishment? Well depression at its worst (in my own experience) felt like that, a never ending struggle to get filled up. Admittedly I faked some smiles just so I didnt have to have others in my life ask what is wrong. Depression keeps a person under, it can destroy and suppress that you search so hard for enjoyment. It is a cruel illness. In short, when i experienced my worst I thought no one would ever understand, I mean I would struggle to get through the day, wishing it would be over, the dread so extreme. It was not something I could share, so the illness gripped me until it subsided. We are deserving of peace, we are people like any other with illness.

LaurenH MajorDepression, BPD and Psi-Vampire- I want my self back
  • replies: 39

Hi all, My name is Lauren- 24years age and I have been coping with anxiety/major depression for 8 years and recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm tired and confused often and my mind has become less-resiliant. Connecting t... View more

Hi all, My name is Lauren- 24years age and I have been coping with anxiety/major depression for 8 years and recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm tired and confused often and my mind has become less-resiliant. Connecting to thought/feelings/body is something I keep trying to do because I'm starting to attack others psychically for energy. It has been a big year already (doctors,psychiatrists,case workers). I don't want to harm others (psychic attacking). I would like to be in control of my life/ body/ thoughts/ energy. Right now I'm struggling on a daily basis. Feels pointless. It's shameful for me to be out in public (even though no-one would notice) I come across with a very soft demeanour. My heads just above water. I need help.

MisterM Intense self hatred
  • replies: 18

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have an intense self hatred and at times it spills over into hating everything around me including people at times. I have begun avoiding meeting new people or going to events with people I barely know through th... View more

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have an intense self hatred and at times it spills over into hating everything around me including people at times. I have begun avoiding meeting new people or going to events with people I barely know through the live music scene as I think I am not worthy of people's time and love. I have given up on trying to find a girlfriend, I don't find myself appealing and think I am not good looking. I have stopped performing my music at open mic as I feel like I am making a fool of myself. I have stopped looking for a job. I have lost all self belief. And the mental abuse by my mum has ramped up lately. She keeps telling me I bring her and my dad shame and have been bringing them down due to being unemployed and wants me to keep it secret from their friends and relatives. She noticed grey strands coming out of my hair and told me no girl will ever want me. Add to that the bad bullying at my most recent job this year. It just reinforces what I think about myself. I feel like I am becoming bitter, hateful and twisted lately.

Goodvibesenthusiast Why is life so hard? Had some rough things happen recently, thinking about taking AD's
  • replies: 2

HI Guys, I'm feeling pretty flat and would love to hear some advice on how to best cope with this situation. To give you a little context I'm a 27 year old male, I work full time, go to the gym regularly have an 'ok' social circle and have battled wi... View more

HI Guys, I'm feeling pretty flat and would love to hear some advice on how to best cope with this situation. To give you a little context I'm a 27 year old male, I work full time, go to the gym regularly have an 'ok' social circle and have battled with depression the last 2 years or so. I'm with a girl - I love her we started seeing each other December last year everything was so great we became best friends she made me so happy and wanted to be a better person. I did a lot for her, helped her financially assisted her when she had an accident tried to be the best BF I could possibly be. She's from England and was on a working visa which had expired, we talked about things and after a lot of discussion we were pretty adamant to be together and she decided to come back on a student visa. I gave her a lot of chances to end things and not continue the relationship but we were mutual and she wanted to come back to oz. I was really cautious (I've been hurt before and have a lot of trouble opening up) as I knew how easily I get hurt when it comes to women and my trust so I wanted to do everything right. We entered into long distance relationship it was hard, we knew it was going to be hard. We talked every night really healthily, we texted constantly we were there for each other. She was so good, gave me the support I needed showed no signs bad signs, this went on for about 10 long weeks. Until yesterday, out of the blue - it was a week out from her departure date and she tells me that she's no longer feeling the same and doesn't know if she wants to be with me or come back to oz. Needless to say I was pretty distraught and in complete shock, I didn't know where any of this came from. I felt completely betrayed and so hurt how my best friend could do something like this. My body just shut down, we were supposed to move in together so my whole lifes plans have shifted as well. Now I'm here finding it hard to get out of bed or be active or communicate to friends/family or even eat. After a long period of being single I opened up and became vulnerable just to get hurt. I managed to put my feelings aside and tell her to take time to think about it, in the end I just want her to be happy. In the meantime I left work early and called up sick. Im feeling anxious and sick. I'm really struggling and want to get anti-depressants to help me through... it's a last resort but I just want to feel level again. Any advice would be appreciated.

Yana8216 Another bad night on the booze
  • replies: 3

2 drinks at the pub after work yesterday turned into about 10 schooners of beer, maybe more. Binge drinking has affected my life for 12 years. Lately I have a big night about once a week. It's affecting my health, I'm hiding/lying about my whereabout... View more

2 drinks at the pub after work yesterday turned into about 10 schooners of beer, maybe more. Binge drinking has affected my life for 12 years. Lately I have a big night about once a week. It's affecting my health, I'm hiding/lying about my whereabouts to my family when I'm out, and I make silly choices that could threaten my health/safety and my relationships. My husband works away a lot which means I live on my own mostly, and the reason why I'm able to downplay my drinking. I'm so tired of feeling lethargic and unwell as a result of my drinking. I don't want to be the person I turn into after too many drinks. I'm tired of embarrassing myself and worrying that someone I know has seen me out when I'm intoxicated: I attend regular christian meetings with people who don't go to pubs, much less drink more than a couple. I am a shy person by nature and have been encouraged by work colleagues etc to drink in the past/present as it brings out my personality and I become a party animal. After an emotional day nursing yet another hangover, missing bible study, and putting off housework that desperately needs doing I've decided to attend my local AA meeting tomorrow night. I desperately need support in order to turn my lifestyle around. My own efforts have failed. I'll let you all know how it goes. To anyone else experiencing this battle I wish you all the best in beating it.