Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Sharny The illness at it's worst. My memory
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I describe my heaviest time, the time when my illness was most severe. A time when full blown mania struck and lifted me to euphoria, a state in which I felt like I was touching clouds. An activation is how I remember, my senses reaching a level like... View more

I describe my heaviest time, the time when my illness was most severe. A time when full blown mania struck and lifted me to euphoria, a state in which I felt like I was touching clouds. An activation is how I remember, my senses reaching a level like never before. At the same time there was a fierceness to my being that is hard to accept. Suddenly, out of no where I feel forced by something, compelled to accomplish things in an absurd style, like an urgency but I don't understand who or what is pushing this urgency. Mental illness is pushing me, Manic depressive, Bipolar. I welcome guests into my home and entertain with a new baby on very little sleep, charged up and ready, ready for what though? At the time I never asked myself this, it was like my state wasn't apparent. I somehow know though to 'cover up' to people how little sleep I'm having with a new baby, cover up that I've been up most of the night inbetween feeds sorting out what I know later as unnecessary items in the fridge, cupboards, ferociously running about in a state. My euphoria keeps me feeling looked after, like the energy provides a wholesome state of being, it's beautiful in a sense. Little do I know the drop down from this height will be the biggest drop I've ever experienced. I awake with feelings saturating me, feelings of absolute guilt. Guilt in extreme that I deserve punishment, I'm caught in my own brain and no one around me see's it. They see a new mum coping with a well looked after bub, impeccable house and clean washing. No one knows this mum is a tortured soul underneath. I go into the back yard and sit in the winter sun. I'm unable to wan't guests anymore, the once excited entertainer has lost her capability. I just want my baby boy and I and try will all my might to keep up appearances when people still visit. I'm compelled to wear the same pants, the same shirt, it's like the illness wont let me change them for days on end, something takes away my personal appearance. But as time goes by the clothing becomes a habit, some force keeps me. I have no energy, lethargy is like no other time in my life. I've become homebound, exhausted and trapped venturing out only to health visits.One day I decide to make the easiest dish, spaghetti for my husband and I. For some reason my brain can't cope. I cant put it together. Depressive side has won. My mind starts giving messages that I'm linked to fraud somehow. I start calling lawyers. This illness, cruel.

Rita10 Lack of energy
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone I'm new here. I've being dealing with my anxiety and depression for the past few months. Addressing it for the first time. In retrospect I've struggled with this my whole life. It's hard to accept as I'm social and make people laugh a lot... View more

Hi everyone I'm new here. I've being dealing with my anxiety and depression for the past few months. Addressing it for the first time. In retrospect I've struggled with this my whole life. It's hard to accept as I'm social and make people laugh a lot and always have felt pretty happy? And yet there is this thing underneath it all. I have always had anxiety attacks and low times here and there. For the first time however it's been really hard to pick myself up. I'm so tired. I physically feel like even sitting is hard. I can't stand it. I saw a doctor and am on a low dose anti depressant . I've being on 20mg for six years and now I'm up to 30mg. I was fine on 20mg but now it is upped I don't feel better. Actually I feel worse. I'm trying to exercise. I'm trying to study. I'm trying to meditate and think positive thoughts. I'm a practicing artist and I can't create much work. Everything feels hard and nothing interests me. I don't want to burden my husband as we lost his dad to cancer 8 months ago and he hasn't being the best himself. He knows I'm sad and is supportive. I feel like I can't take care of him. It's an effort to do the laundry and clean the house. I'm about to do a prac with university and am so scared I will have no energy. Any advice? I feel so useless.

Sharny taking a look at myself again..
  • replies: 5

Hi, thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. I'm feeling disappointed in myself due to self growth pursuits almost testing me. Over the past two years I've taken on two positions voluntarily within one of my children's scho... View more

Hi, thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. I'm feeling disappointed in myself due to self growth pursuits almost testing me. Over the past two years I've taken on two positions voluntarily within one of my children's school and their sports club being Secretary and President. Life is a balancing act, I never stop thinking about how others live, how they keep up with everything. Life is incredibly busy between extra curricular activities, playing taxi here and there for the kids, housework, shopping, volunteering, supporting extended family, class room help etc etc. I should be able to cope right? I mean, it's life. Well I've noticed just like the throws of this illness, that at certain points I cope better than others. I continue to self evaluate what I achieve mainly to see how far I've come dealing with this illness. I've got a large task ahead which I'm organising right now, I'm leading the event just like last year a fete/fun day. It's an enormous job for which I'm responsible for and I'm feeling a little jittery fitting it all in. The benefits of this are that I'm constantly keeping in contact with people, I'm not shut off in any sense but my mind is over stimulated by it all right now. I'm caught between loyalty and my own self awareness in looking out for myself. My husband believes if I take a role next year that I should accept to step down and be a general helper instead of leading the events. He thinks I'm capable but if the stress peaks then why do it to myself. Part of me resents my line of thinking, that I need to prove to the family that I can function at top level. I see myself as a fraction of the women I once was when I worked in a corporate setting. My husband tells me I have nothing to prove. He is inclined to push my creative side, I make jewellery mostly. I've got to the point that I wan't to just accept that I'm getting older now and since a full fleged onset of the illness came on its changed things. Even though my illness was there when I was working cbd as accountant, our lives were different then so I coped with it differently and only had myself and husband to look after. In short, I'm sick of putting pressure on myself to prove to my family. I try to achieve at a higher level and obviously it brings too much stress. When will I ever find the right balance? Or is it that I've pressured myself because of fear that I'm a hopeless bipolar?

January_Fairy Cranky Mumma Bear
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Hi this is my first post.Diagnosed 2010 bipolar II and been on meds from 2010-2016, came of meds slowly over six months and last meds was 8th January 2016. I completed DBT program as out patient over a one elyear period which finished March this year... View more

Hi this is my first post.Diagnosed 2010 bipolar II and been on meds from 2010-2016, came of meds slowly over six months and last meds was 8th January 2016. I completed DBT program as out patient over a one elyear period which finished March this year. I've been doing well but have noticed the past three months depression and anxiety creeping in. I've been practicing my DBT skills with full commitment and it helps with mild anxiety and functioning but find it does very little if anything to help pull me out of the depression and high anxiety levels. I've been pushing through with high hopes that I wouldn't need to consider meds again but reality may be that I may need meds again.I see a therapist regularly and tried natural herbal remedies but admitting I might need more is a hard pill to swallow. I have two children so this affects them too. I am very lucky to have an amazingly supportive hubby.I feel that no matter how committed I am to practicing DBT skills and mindfulness etc ....... I feel that there is a level of depression and high anxiety that is beyond my control .I get so confused because my hubby and two friends are the only ones who understand the medical side and mei cations for depression and anxiety and bi polar, most people I know think I should be able to fix it myself and that meds are unhealthy and not necessary and all psychological.i am finding so much stigma from family and friends and even in my own mind and still find it hard to accept.I am also wondering how much do people think where you live (environmentally) has a lot to do with it?Would love to hear ways that people have been able to accept their diagnosis and need to take meds long term?I need this for me and I my girls need me well too. I describe my mum as a raging alcoholic without the alcohol when I was a child and I don't want that for my kids . I'm not a rager but one cranky irritable bear right now

sinking_mama First day sober
  • replies: 11

Its been 9 and a half hours since i finished my last drink at 3am. Im still in bed trying unsuccessfully to sleep of my raging hangover from lasts nights effort. I have made the decision. Thats it. No more. Now i just need to stick to it. Unlike the ... View more

Its been 9 and a half hours since i finished my last drink at 3am. Im still in bed trying unsuccessfully to sleep of my raging hangover from lasts nights effort. I have made the decision. Thats it. No more. Now i just need to stick to it. Unlike the last kajillion times. I dont drink every day. For me its every second day. After all i need a day to recover from the previous night where i have completely written myself off. Im the type of person who cant do moderation. I have no control over my drinking. Rather it controls me. When. How much. My actions while drunk. For me a sip = pass out drunk. My almost 2 year old boy is playing in the lounge room with his nan and i am disgusted with myself that im not there with him. So much of my life has been missed because of my dependence and addiction. A lot is a blur. Even more is just missing. I cant do this any more. I WONT do this any more. 20.7.16 marks the begining of my sobriety. Now i just need to do it.

TaraB Major depression- one step forward, two steps back
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Hey, I'm 25, female, with major depression disorder/ eating disorder/ body dismorfier since I was 13. Does anyone else feel like you try so hard to get better and then fall straight back again? I was feeling better for afew months, but my beautiful n... View more

Hey, I'm 25, female, with major depression disorder/ eating disorder/ body dismorfier since I was 13. Does anyone else feel like you try so hard to get better and then fall straight back again? I was feeling better for afew months, but my beautiful nanna passed away suddenly a year ago and ever since I feel more lost than ever before. She was my family and I feel like something died in me too. Lately I cant stand looking in the mirror it makes me so angry at myself. I hate having a shower because I know the mirror will be there when I get out. I'm a fitness instructor and its impacted on my confidence to do my study/job. I'm hoping someone knows these feelings and can give me some advice on how to get myself out of this black hole. xXx

Dippy_Dora So why do I sit Here...Alone....Trying to Find a Reason to Go On?
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The above title is from a song I used to know...years ago...but I cannot remember who. It seems to be playing in my mind over and over and over. I find some comfort in the fact that someone else actually felt/feels this way too. Every day is a strugg... View more

The above title is from a song I used to know...years ago...but I cannot remember who. It seems to be playing in my mind over and over and over. I find some comfort in the fact that someone else actually felt/feels this way too. Every day is a struggle for me to get through, I just feel exhausted all the time, my mind feels like a fog, even my speech is deteriorating in a weird way, I can't seem to speak properly. I feel like just giving in and not bothering with anything anymore. I have certainly lost my Love of Life....I can remember I was happy once and wonder how many other people are walking around, dragging themselves about...all pretending that nothing is wrong. When I am around other people I forget how unhappy I am because their chatter is a distraction. As is the TV, but then I switch that off and I can't even remember what I was watching. I stumbled across this forum and find comfort in reading that other people are suffering too....

Chris D I'm completely lost in life
  • replies: 36

I don't know where to go or what to say or what to do anymore, i'm completely lost. I can't take it anymore, i have a family member who is going in for an operation next wk and so she will need looking after, so how am i meant to fill the requirement... View more

I don't know where to go or what to say or what to do anymore, i'm completely lost. I can't take it anymore, i have a family member who is going in for an operation next wk and so she will need looking after, so how am i meant to fill the requirements i have with centrelink and try and stay well enough to look for work and look after this family member, i've already got enough going on in my head. I feel like bursting out into tears, i can't take it i'm lost at what to do next. Got no motivation, no drive anymore absolutely pathetic. All i want is a person to listen to me and to give me a hug and put their hand on my back to tell me it's going to be ok. I feel so alone, so isolated. Even today at a group that i go to i felt all day i was ready to burst into tears. Just want to hit my life away because it's no life at all.I need company but i feel no one wants me or wants to hear from me, it's like they have no time for me feel like a piece of trash lying in the gutter just deteriorating away in the rain. I just want to cry but the tears won't come, i can feel they are there but not in a position to be let out. Can anyone provide company and a hug for me please, i really need it please. Kind Regards Chris

use_to_be_giglebug down low
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hi , every day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed,i feel worthless use less and above all guilty for feeling like this..i have wonderful family a great hubby and son ,daughter in law and a amazing 2 year old grand daughter..my brother was di... View more

hi , every day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed,i feel worthless use less and above all guilty for feeling like this..i have wonderful family a great hubby and son ,daughter in law and a amazing 2 year old grand daughter..my brother was diagnosed with cancer late last year and it has been hell watching him go through treatment and i just feel over it all.i feel so guilty for feeling this way as its not me going through living with the desease its him..im pathetic and feel like whats the use !!!! i know i have to be strong for him and his family but its just getting too hard..i just dont know what to do.i am on medication for depression but i feel its getting worse.

Katatonic New to Forums
  • replies: 11

Hi guys, Just popping in to meet & greet so to speak. Been some what apprehensive about posting so hope you all understand. I have suffered many many years of depression & anxiety which as you all would know can be really hard to manage on your own. ... View more

Hi guys, Just popping in to meet & greet so to speak. Been some what apprehensive about posting so hope you all understand. I have suffered many many years of depression & anxiety which as you all would know can be really hard to manage on your own. In the last 3yrs or so my health has really suffered leaving me feeling isolated, terribly forgotten about,( well in my eyes) by health professionals & so on. As I write I am already judging myself & thinking I should just hush & get on with what life I've been dealt, there are those more in need etc so I shall start small maybe