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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Xris It's really bad right now
  • replies: 9

I am not doing well right now, I don't know how to continue this

I am not doing well right now, I don't know how to continue this

Lovely86 Detached
  • replies: 5

This is my first post here. I have had a number of issues with depression and anxiety since I was a child but recently I have been going through my worst episode. I have been working in the same job for almost 7 years now, but over the past 2 years I... View more

This is my first post here. I have had a number of issues with depression and anxiety since I was a child but recently I have been going through my worst episode. I have been working in the same job for almost 7 years now, but over the past 2 years I have felt increasingly anxious and in the past few months depressed. I used to value my job, it was fulfilling but now just the thought of having to "pretend" and actually go to work fills me with an overwhelming sense of dread. I have been prescribed medication to try and help & I have had sessions with my psychologist. I have also been referred to psychiatrists but as I live rurally I have been waiting 6 weeks for a full assessment. In the past couple of days I find that I am beginning to feel detached from everything. It is much like watching my life on a screen being played out like a video game. I have gone to work, I have done the things that need to get done but I am working on autopilot, just watching it all be done & I don't like the feeling at all. My psychologist suggested that I should just work part-time, while I consider options for a different career path. Which is easier said then done. My boss has been wonderfully supportive so far, but it's a small business and having to keep me on part-time & employ someone full-time for the duties I was fulfilling would drain the business. The only option I can see would be to resign. But then what? I would have no income and I can't really afford not to. My mother is trying to be supportive too but to her it is all in my head & I just need to keep going to work and get over it. Yesterday while driving to work I thought about how little I was actually paying attention to what I was doing and how I could easily have an accident & I honestly couldn't force myself to care about that. It would have meant I didn't have to go to work.

white knight Blame, guilt and being fair to yourself
  • replies: 16

Do you blame yourself for the mistakes you've made? Do you feel guilty about them? Do you spent time dwelling about "what could have been"? I use to until I realised, that you are only responsible to limit our mistakes in the here and now. Once that ... View more

Do you blame yourself for the mistakes you've made? Do you feel guilty about them? Do you spent time dwelling about "what could have been"? I use to until I realised, that you are only responsible to limit our mistakes in the here and now. Once that decision making has been made, if it was the wrong one, it was only wrong after making it. But punishing ourselves year in year out is not clever, its responsive and harms us. Eg For whatever reason I grew up impulsive problem I now dont have. Such a trait resulted in buying and selling 35 cars before the age of 23yo and as they were on loans I got myself into heaps of financial trouble. My family heard my justifications each new car I purchased, friends laughed but it was a serious issue. As the years rolled by I dwelled on those impulsive years and beat myself up about them. But was it my fault? We end up as we are for a reason. In my case it could be I needed attention, needed change often, liked different cars in my driveway or got tired of one car quickly and desired another. Or my mothers BPD (undiagnosed) had its effect on us kids. Whatever the real reason, it wasnt fault on my part. There is only fault when one doesnt learn and improve on the situation as best one can. As time went by I tried to keep a car for long periods. By 30yo I kept a car for 3 years, by 40yo 5 years and now my new csur purchased in 2008 I still have. In my 20's my then girlfriend had had a baby adopted out when she was 16yo, 8 years earlier before I met her. We split after 6 years then met up 20 years later. She'd spent many a restless night dwelling on that one mistake, to give up her baby. I told her that under the same circumstances she would have done the same thing, she would bow to the pressures from family, no means to support her baby and the stigma from that era. Essentially, blaming herself was unfair. What would be more unfair is to not search for her child and help her child through life by knowing her birth mother. We met up again 10 years later. She told me she found her child, now with children of her own. She had accepted it was unrealistic and hurtful to lay blame on herself for giving up her own baby. She has some lingering guilt, wished things were different and still takes medication for depression. Importantly, her self blame has drifted. She is now an active granny. She progressed. Blame and guilt are suppressive thoughts that need to be contained. Be fair to yourself. Tony WK

Del1971 Can't stop crying
  • replies: 7

I feel so lonely, l just want to cry all the time! And because this makes me needy l feel like no one will want to be friends with me or want to be around me

I feel so lonely, l just want to cry all the time! And because this makes me needy l feel like no one will want to be friends with me or want to be around me

Guest_554 Premenopause worries???
  • replies: 29

Hi ladies, I am 41 and have many symptoms, sensations... I have recently been diagnosed with Anxiety/ mild depression.... but leading up to this diagnosis I had many symptoms, changes going on. I have just opened this thread in the hope of some advic... View more

Hi ladies, I am 41 and have many symptoms, sensations... I have recently been diagnosed with Anxiety/ mild depression.... but leading up to this diagnosis I had many symptoms, changes going on. I have just opened this thread in the hope of some advice of any other women out there that may have had similar symptoms/sensations or are able to tell me their stories. I stopped the pill 11 months ago, since then my monthlys only last 3 days. My breasts are constantly sorer. I get period pains 1-2 weeks before my actual period. I get light headed, palpitations, mood swings, bloated, lower back pain, chest, neck, shoulder pain. I am a mystery... least I feel I am. I was told by one Dr that I was oestrogen dominant, another Dr told me I wasn't..... anyway, very confused. I look forward to hearing from any other ladies my age to see if they have similar things going o.

Phoenix_ Conversations - I can't find acceptable answers
  • replies: 2

I’ve been struggling with depression for several years. My husband walked out, I got retrenched, and I moved to a country town 3 years ago for financial reasons. I’ve tried hard to join up and meet people, and many people tell me I’m kind, funny and ... View more

I’ve been struggling with depression for several years. My husband walked out, I got retrenched, and I moved to a country town 3 years ago for financial reasons. I’ve tried hard to join up and meet people, and many people tell me I’m kind, funny and helpful; but I keep getting new rejections, so it’s getting harder to maintain that façade. There are 3-4 people I’m on friendly terms with, but they already have busy lives. I’m alone most of the time, or at best alone –in-a-crowd. Conversations are becoming impossible because everyone asks polite, friendly questions that I’m unable to give a socially-acceptable answer to. “How are you?”. I should say “Good thanks!”, but that lie is becoming too difficult; the real answer is “I’m so depressed I can hardly stand upright”, but it’s a poor response to dump on most people. Is there an alternative? Then there’s: “Do you work, are you retired?” I’m unemployable, I’m supposed to do “volunteer” work for the dole but I got bullied at the last place, and they asked me to leave because I got upset about it. TMI. “What have you been doing lately?” Sleeping half the day, struggling to focus on anything the rest of the time. That’s a conversation-killer too. “Do you have any holidays planned?” No, Centrelink doesn’t let me have holidays, and I’m too weary to enjoy solo travel anyway. And if they talk about themselves, it always seems to touch on my own losses: they talk about their great marriage, their career, their holiday; or they grizzle about dole bludgers who should be drug-tested. One person (I thought she was my oldest friend) has started telling me to be grateful for what I have, because everyone has problems, and other people have it worse. Probably true, but no longer helpful, and it feels like another rejection. Being so alone is half my problem, but talking to people is the other half, in all sorts of ways. I feel stuck. Is there any answer?

blu_ Feeling like a failure.
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. This is my first post (I think...maybe I introduced myself some months ago?). I'm feeling pretty awful about myself, which is what has prompted me to get on here. I'm in my final semester of my second undergraduate degree. I'm 32 years o... View more

Hi everyone. This is my first post (I think...maybe I introduced myself some months ago?). I'm feeling pretty awful about myself, which is what has prompted me to get on here. I'm in my final semester of my second undergraduate degree. I'm 32 years old and haven't achieved anything in terms of a career or vocation. This degree was meant to be my 'second chance' for myself. Well...I've made a pretty terrible mess of it. I've realised I'm going to have to defer this semester because my project is going nowhere. I feel so totally inadequate next to my class mates, most of whom are a about a decade younger than me. They are so confident and clever and creative and I...just feel so stunted compared to them. I've spent the past five years - time that I wanted to dedicate to developing a fulfilling job path for myself - in a depressive fog. I made some feeble attempts to help myself but never followed through. Basically; I feel like a total failure, like I will just keep effing things up for myself time and time again. I do understand why I struggle. My father was very abusive. Most of it was emotional, some of it was physical, and I was always terrified of him. He was constantly berating me, telling me I was useless and stupid. Or acting as though I didn't exist. I think that many of the people I compare myself to have had much healthier upbringings (based on what they say about their relationships with their parents). But I can't help but feel very defective compared to them. And this is what is causing me the most distress at the moment; I see them accomplishing things that I would like to, but it feels so out of my reach because I don't feel worthy or deserving, and I believe I will never feel that way because of how I was treated in childhood. So I am feeling quite hopeless and 'what's the point' about a lot of things. I am seeing a psychologist (through my university) but I have been holding back in telling him what I am really thinking and feeling because I am a bit afraid he will somehow confirm that I am 'defective'. Thanks to those who have taken the time to read this. X

Anononono Am I really angry or really depressed?
  • replies: 3

So I tend to get angry a lot and things can tick me of really easy but I tend not to show my anger cause I'm shy and every time I do get angry my minds telling me to just hit something or break it but I don't and it really irritates me

So I tend to get angry a lot and things can tick me of really easy but I tend not to show my anger cause I'm shy and every time I do get angry my minds telling me to just hit something or break it but I don't and it really irritates me

demonblaster Should we talk openly or hide our issues?
  • replies: 7

Hey all Personally I reckon yes and do talk openly for education, people won't understand unless they know of someone, experience it personally or hear about it. I have BP (Bipolar) type 1 & 2) So far to my face no one's been overly negative, not to ... View more

Hey all Personally I reckon yes and do talk openly for education, people won't understand unless they know of someone, experience it personally or hear about it. I have BP (Bipolar) type 1 & 2) So far to my face no one's been overly negative, not to say I don't cop grief from minority of people, but don't think it's cause of speaking up about it, moreso them letting there rot out on someone. Think sometimes I must have a bloody taget on my forehead. Still at least ya know who not to bum around with. You'd be surprised how many people once you open up a subject have something themselves or know of someone that suffers something that can be good learning and create support and understanding both ways. I know it's hard to open up, doesn't have to be to the world but we have lifes up & downs like everyone else but harder with MI or issues. We need support and understanding. Without education how else will people know. Be interested in your thoughts Hope yous are getting through the tough times, there is better than this and between us we can make it. WITH SUPPORT.

Anntug Getting worse.....
  • replies: 18

Hi, i suffer from health anxiety even when I have been to the Dr and she advised all is good. I just cannot get it out of my mind that I am dying. I have been suffering this on and off over the last 27 years! My anxiety then developts into depression... View more

Hi, i suffer from health anxiety even when I have been to the Dr and she advised all is good. I just cannot get it out of my mind that I am dying. I have been suffering this on and off over the last 27 years! My anxiety then developts into depression and I am struggling going to work every day. I stuggle every morning getting out of bed and cry most of the time. I am on AD and think they are working a little. I have the support of my beautiful Mum and husband but feel like I cannot continue To trouble them all the time. I just feel so unloved at the moment and want to be my happy little self again. Thanks for listerning.