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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Soraya_M_ Alone With Myself
  • replies: 1

Hello, I'm new here. Not sure where to start, so will just start. I'm 58, a wife and mother to 6 healthy, beautiful kids. Married for 37 years, still in love to a 'blokey' Aussie guy. My husband goes away for work 4 days a week. Our 4 girls are grown... View more

Hello, I'm new here. Not sure where to start, so will just start. I'm 58, a wife and mother to 6 healthy, beautiful kids. Married for 37 years, still in love to a 'blokey' Aussie guy. My husband goes away for work 4 days a week. Our 4 girls are grown and flew the nest years ago. We still have two 17 and 14 year old sons at home. I left my teaching job 5 years ago, due to Major Depressive Disorder/Anxiety/PTSD/Adrenalin Burnout. I needed peace and a quiet life, plus medication. We relocated to a country area 20 mins from town. I have been fairly content, though we are 3 hours from our girls, so with their busy lives, we don't get to see them often. I can't really explain why, but I find myself in depression again. I feel so lonely. My boys are typical teenagers and computer gamers, so rarely get any conversation from them. My husband isn't much of a talker either. We are fairly isolated, but I don't have any desire to go out in the world and prefer my pets to most people. The anxiety/depression has me up all night and I then sleep most of the day and have zero energy. My anxiety has me ruminating about everything, especially the future. The girls have left home, and my career, was my 'empty nest' plan. I always knew I would be very sad when the kids grew up. I thought I would have my job to keep me busy and happy. Without my kids and my job, I don't know who I am anymore. My husband and I have a stressful marriage, as he has these binges over-self medicating and in the past binge drinking. I feel on edge most of the time, because it's like a roller coaster, you know the drop will come eventually. He is currently having counselling himself, which I hope will help him change his behaviours. We love each other dearly, despite the ups and downs and I can't imagine life without him, which is another thing I worry over constantly. He keeps reminding me that we are getting old and is very negative about it, which stresses me out. So, here I am alone with myself and my thoughts. Logically, I know all the things I should be doing (exercise, get out, hobbies) but I hate exercise and don't want to be with people, have no energy. I have no friends (work was my social world) and no desire to make friends. I can't work due to other health issues. I feel overwhelmed by my sadness and loneliness. My GP of 17 years is 3 hours away and I don't like the GPs here. I wake up each day thinking, 'is this all there is now?' The black dog sits beside me again. Soraya

RinRin Toxic Environments
  • replies: 3

Hi, my whole life I've always been dealt with a raw deal here and there and I've always managed to brush it off and move on with my life. Since my early 30's however, it has not been possible to move past any emotional hurdle. I was in a high-stress ... View more

Hi, my whole life I've always been dealt with a raw deal here and there and I've always managed to brush it off and move on with my life. Since my early 30's however, it has not been possible to move past any emotional hurdle. I was in a high-stress job which gave me such severe anxiety I ended up in the ER unable to breathe, and since moving on from there I now live in a home with someone I am very attached to but who doesn't see me back in the same light. Each and every day I'm forced to put on a smile and be supportive of him and his dating life while I hurt so much inside to the point of physical pain in my chest and severe depression. I guess my question here is, whilst I know I need to remove myself from this toxic environment, I can't do so without hurting him and he will never feel the same way about me as I do about him so talking about it won't solve anything. How can I handle this? I don't know how much more I can take of this severe loneliness and feeling of never being enough for anyone. I've been single for 7 years and find it hard to connect with anyone who doesn't just want to use me and then leave. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to keep people in my life that want to stay...

MrsO Returning to Work
  • replies: 3

I’m in the process of preparing to return to work (special ed teacher) after an extended period of maternity leave. I was initially due to return to work 3 days/week when my son was approx 9 months old but IVF, pregnancy (being under-medicated) and l... View more

I’m in the process of preparing to return to work (special ed teacher) after an extended period of maternity leave. I was initially due to return to work 3 days/week when my son was approx 9 months old but IVF, pregnancy (being under-medicated) and life with a newborn really didn’t agree with my major depression and anxiety so I pushed my return date. Then my mum (main support and the only person keeping me going through this already challenging time) was diagnosed with advanced and aggressive lung cancer with 10+ brain tumours. No one would commit to a prognosis but we were told ‘months not years’. Thankfully we had some savings so I could further extend my maternity leave (mum was going to be our childcare) but 4 months after diagnosis, my mum passed away. To say I didn’t cope is an understatement but I had my 9 month old son to focus on so with massive help from hubby I was able to go through the motions, keep everyone alive just doing the bare minimum to survive. And we did this for about a year. Then reality hit and I realised we had just about gone through our savings and I had no choice but to return to work. New meds had me out and about with my son a little more and there were times where I was actually looking forward to going back to work. We’ve got me set up for success as much as I can possibly think of including my son being settled at daycare and he will be attending 4 days per week even though I’m only actually working 3 to give myself that day at home to recharge, recover and prepare for work etc. I was even able to do a casual day on Friday (last day of term) which was just perfect for my anxiety as I only had 3 days to stress about it and I will have time to be prepared for when school goes back. But this brings me (finally) to the actual point of my post. 2 days later and I am still completely drained and just want to hide away and hibernate. I expected this to some extent, I’ve effectively been living separate from the big bad world for almost 2.5yrs, spending the majority of my time at home and really only leaving the house with hubby, and I’ve just gone and dropped myself right into the middle of it, a full day, surrounded by predominantly strangers, not a single ‘safe person’ in sight and then I had to put the mum hat on once we got home! But 2 days feels excessive and so now of course I’m worrying that it’s always going to be like this so I won’t be able to manage so what then?!?

RickyAus I'm incredibly depressed and feel selfish since many people have it worse than me.
  • replies: 6

Hi guys thank you for listening I guess I will share my story. First of all I feel really guilty to come forward with my depression. I have a roof over my head, pay my bills and have my health these are all things I am greatful for but for some reaso... View more

Hi guys thank you for listening I guess I will share my story. First of all I feel really guilty to come forward with my depression. I have a roof over my head, pay my bills and have my health these are all things I am greatful for but for some reason I am not taking any happiness out of life. I work in the entertainment/social media industry 7 days a week and while I love what I do I feel pressure because I constantly have to have my game face on and deliver which is really putting my anxiety levels up as well. I don't have many friends but to be honest this is partly my fault I have abandonment issues that come from my childhood that I haven't really dealt with so i either push people away or become to needy and they leave. I can't seem to open up about how I feel I usually battle all this in silence but when I do occasionally talk about what I am going through I feel my friends look at me like I am broken or a complainer. I also have a girlfriend who is very nice but she is another nationality meaning there can be a language barrier and she doesn't understand a lot how I'm feeling and i think my bad days are pushing her away as she is becoming distant. My personality is a contradiction. When I am having good days I always try to be the annoying optimist and look at the glass half full. I suppose even on my bad days I am the same somewhat but sometimes things feel so helpless I just wish I was no longer here. My line of work and minor financial issues are causing me some anxiety but as far as my depression goes I wish I knew where it was coming from as no matter what positive projects I try I just can't seem to find happiness in my life. Thank you so much for listening everyone I am just very lost.

Anon64 BPD and crippling anxiety and depression
  • replies: 2

Hello, i have suffered from mental illness for as long as I can remember. Recently after a mental break I was diagnosed with BPD. Around this time I left my husband and since have suffered intense shame, guilt, constant clipping anxiety. I have a new... View more

Hello, i have suffered from mental illness for as long as I can remember. Recently after a mental break I was diagnosed with BPD. Around this time I left my husband and since have suffered intense shame, guilt, constant clipping anxiety. I have a new relationship which brings its own challenges and I emotionally react to every slight thing. I’m tired. I’m so tired. I’m tired of being afraid. I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight from physical illness from the anxiety. I have a Gp I take meds and see a psych but nothing has seemed to bring any relief. I have a ok relationship with my ex because of our 2 boys we need to stay in contact even though I have hurt him severely. My new partner is great for the most part but I’m mentally splitting a lot and on eggshells because I cant handle the pain of upsetting him or him being annoyed with me over anything. I seek validation from others constantly and letting people down sends me into a spiral. I want to feel better but I’m almost convinced this is the way I’m going to live. Surviving every day struggling to breathe trying to calm down constant panic attacks. I’m so tired I don’t want to live like this.

MochaPeppa Stuck
  • replies: 2

Feel so stuck I almost couldn’t write anything. i know I’m depressed when the first thoughts that run through my head when I wake are “wish i were dead” over and over even though I don’t wish that. I just wish I wasn’t depressed and stuck and financi... View more

Feel so stuck I almost couldn’t write anything. i know I’m depressed when the first thoughts that run through my head when I wake are “wish i were dead” over and over even though I don’t wish that. I just wish I wasn’t depressed and stuck and financially stuffed. i have fibromyalgia and cfs/me and depression. i cant take antidepressants because I react severely to them and end up in ER being made to feel like I’m making it up. i cant afford a psychologist and have tried to find one that bulk bills. Good luck there. I managed to get free counselling from anglicare last time but the either kept screwing up my apts or the counselor wasn’t skilled enough. She actually told me she didn’t know how to help me. i feel stuck. What the f do I do now?

Wanttobebetter Heavy 4 months - Cheated on, her family death, pregnancy, abortion and off and on again
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Have just had a super heavy few months. In November I had a shoulder reconstruction with 6 months recovery time taking me away from the active lifestyle I usually live. That same week my gf (my second love who I'd been with 2 and a half years... View more

Hi all, Have just had a super heavy few months. In November I had a shoulder reconstruction with 6 months recovery time taking me away from the active lifestyle I usually live. That same week my gf (my second love who I'd been with 2 and a half years ) was working overseas for 2 months and we had been growing apart because I didn't want to commit and move to Sydney to be with her. A lot because she was so obsessed with work she neglected me and also because I wasn't ready at the time and felt like being out of the relationship. I hadn't heard from her properly for a week then she called me and told me she had cheated on me. Later that day she rang me, when I ignored her call she messaged saying she had been told her Dad was dying of cancer and only had a few weeks to live. Obviouslu I was going to support her. She remained where she was working at the time for another week in which time she continued to be with the other guy. We caught up a couple of times in between her flying to see her Dad in Hong Kong. Each time she'd tell me she loved me and then something would happen and she'd call it off. Her Dad passed away and I was still there for her but gave her space for a few weeks and then we proceeded to hang out a few times to the point she was calling saying she missed me etc but then she went silent again, finally told me she was pregnant and that we had to call everything off again. Followong this she would tell me how much she loved me, then go silent again. Eventually she said she wanted to really work thing's out. We hung out for a couple of months and she would be super interested one day, call it off the next, never provide any support back. She also had an abortion which I was there for and helped her through like every other time I've helped her through her stuff. I never got to recover from the initial hurt, had to bottle up everything to be there for her but obviously the constant being broken up with got me really down. A couple of weeks ago I couldn't handle the fact I couldn't even organise something nice for her birthday because I wasn't sure what was happening so called it off but told her I didn't want to. During this I have had depression and anxiety as a result which is weird because I've always been the strong one for everyone. Now I'm non stop crying, can't sleep, work (I work for myself so am alone a lot at the moment), have constant sad feeling, have seen a number of bad psychologists, don't know where I want to live. What do I do?

jbubble Exhausted of feeling nothing
  • replies: 1

I don’t really know how to start but I know that today is a pretty bad day for me - despite an outward display of successful functioning (got myself out of bed and I’m at uni). Basically I am so sick of feeling so apathetic towards everyone and life ... View more

I don’t really know how to start but I know that today is a pretty bad day for me - despite an outward display of successful functioning (got myself out of bed and I’m at uni). Basically I am so sick of feeling so apathetic towards everyone and life in general. Nothing is exciting, nothing brings me happiness and I NEVER feel passion. All I do is look forward to going to bed at night. I’m sick of people telling me that “exercise” will help release endorphins, but since suffering adrenal fatigue last year exercise only makes me bed-ridden and physically sick/exhausted for days afterwards, and even if I were to do low intensity exercise I never have the motivation to get up and go. I’ve noticed my appetite dropping lately too but still upset over having put on weight last year. Also, every antidepressant I’ve tried has done nothing and my current one has actually made me worse I think. Currently waiting to begin psychologist appointments and I’m waiting patiently for the psychiatrist to book me in (no idea how long that will take). Anybody else had experience with feeling this never-ending lack of passion for life? I constantly feel there is no point in life because we all just die anyway. P.s I don’t intend on suiciding. Thanks in advance for anyone’s input Jenna

Pureison I have no motivation or passion to do anything and it makes me sad.
  • replies: 7

Hi. I'm in my mid 20s and I feel like I have no energy or motivation to do anything. Everytime I think of doing something I'm always just end up not doing it. Even the things I enjoy doing, like Art and Baking, all I want to do lately is play games a... View more

Hi. I'm in my mid 20s and I feel like I have no energy or motivation to do anything. Everytime I think of doing something I'm always just end up not doing it. Even the things I enjoy doing, like Art and Baking, all I want to do lately is play games and play my cats. I see my friends getting married, having boyfriends, having kids and having a successful and fun jobs and friendships within their jobs,and here I am not doing any of those and I feel sad and kind of isolated. I spend my days with my parents a lot, and I try to make plans with friends but my friends are always busy with work. I want to get a job, but I have no experience, or confidence. I've even tried doing uni courses but I don't see anything that makes me passionate or any courses that I really really want to do. I want a change and I want to be like my friends, but I don't know how if there's nothing out there that I find really exciting or passionate? I'm trying my best to keep busy like focus on decorating my room and talking to my parents about general life. And even if I do find a course I really like, I'm always thinking that I'm not smart enough to do it and my brain can't handle it, because I have a mental disability. I've tried doing art courses which seem to work but lately as I said, I just feel unmotivated and have no inspiration or anything to do it. I am thinking of doing photography and modelling as a hobby for instagram and maybe doing a steps course or something but I'm worried my brain can't handle it, and I'm going to stress out and drop out of it, like other courses I have done. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope with it?

Looking Why do they have to make it so hard to get help
  • replies: 1

Had depression for over 15 years. I also have Aspergers. Medication has not solved the issue. So decided to have TMS. Have two full treatments, one on left side of brain, one on right side. Neither had any impact. I have had two psychiatrists recomme... View more

Had depression for over 15 years. I also have Aspergers. Medication has not solved the issue. So decided to have TMS. Have two full treatments, one on left side of brain, one on right side. Neither had any impact. I have had two psychiatrists recommend ECT for me. Went into a private hospital to have ECT treatment. I had extreme agitation and aggression coming out of the anaesthetic. Apparently I need to be restrained to protect myself and the hospital staff. The hospital I was in could not do this, so they passed me off to another hospital. I went through the full evaluation by the CATT team and then they passed me off to another private hospital without telling them of my extreme agitation after treatment. After telling the new hospital, the passed on treating me as well. I tried all the private facilities over ETC and none will treat me. So I went back to the second hospital. Even though I was only evaluated by the CATT team a couple of weeks ago, I now have to go through the full process again. Then if they accept me for ECT they will not book a date. I have to go to hospital emergency and sit and wait for a bed to become free, apparently this could mean sitting in the waiting room for up to 2 days. The private hospital system will do ECT as a outpatient, the public system will not. The worst thing for my depression is to be confined to a hospital with nothing to occupy my mind. Being in hospital for 4 weeks is not possible for me to handle. So 2 psychiatrists recommend ECT for me. I am at the end of my rope. I can't go on like this. But they make it so I can't get the treatment I need.