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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Lola13 Missing a piece of me
  • replies: 5

I have recently begun my journey for self help as I began to spiral and relied only on my boyfriend for support. This has caused him to leave me as it is too much for him to handle. This has hurt me immensely but I understand and it has made me reali... View more

I have recently begun my journey for self help as I began to spiral and relied only on my boyfriend for support. This has caused him to leave me as it is too much for him to handle. This has hurt me immensely but I understand and it has made me realise I cannot rely solely on others and hope it helps me heal. I have multiple mental illnesses which makes coping extremely difficult at times, because if my depression is at bay, my anxiety can rise and vice versa. I also have insomnia and I know I need to fix this as sleep is extremely important in getting better. My main question is, with my depression, when I am in my lowest state I always have the feeling that I want to go home, which I believe would have sprouted from my childhood and being constantly bullied at school. Unfortunately, my home no longer feels like home and I don't know how to make it feel like home again. Does anybody have any tips for creating a safe space to help with my depression?

aussiestorm I am having a real bad day
  • replies: 14

Since this bloody virus has put me and my family in lockdown due to a chronic lung condition, I've been home schooling my son, a lot of cleaning, cooking, knitting, diamond painting, reading and my own worst enemy thinking. I feel so overwhelmed and ... View more

Since this bloody virus has put me and my family in lockdown due to a chronic lung condition, I've been home schooling my son, a lot of cleaning, cooking, knitting, diamond painting, reading and my own worst enemy thinking. I feel so overwhelmed and I just want to crawl into a ball and cry. I do have a psychiatrist but I feel like I would be wasting his time. I have never realized how depressed I can get. I feel like a failure, being all these things and not succeeding. My son tells me that I'm the best mummy he could ever have. I hate feeling like this! I love my family and I know that they love me, but sometimes it's not enough. I'm also going through a messy settlement with my ex husband. He has turned around and called me an alcoholic crap parent. I gave up drinking when I kicked him out. It feels good to get things off my chest. I'm shaking like a leaf and trying to keep it together for my family. I don't like them seeing me like this.

Ben_k 'HOPE'
  • replies: 2

As being diagnosed with chronic depression at 15, and a survivor from suicide, this is a post aimed to feel like i am talking to you, the person reading this; To tell you a little thing that kept me alive.. 'hope.' As it is such a irritable and usele... View more

As being diagnosed with chronic depression at 15, and a survivor from suicide, this is a post aimed to feel like i am talking to you, the person reading this; To tell you a little thing that kept me alive.. 'hope.' As it is such a irritable and useless feeling to try and find help when feeling that you do not need it as life is just a 'waste.' That, which i just said, is depression talking, and oh trust me how much it lies. It's like it has its own disorder within the disorder (if that makes sense), being compulsive lying. Tells you all the negatives, but no positives, yet that is only because your not looking the other way for that very small to very big positive emotion. So, what do you do? Many things, you can continue to listen to the lies that seem so true making you believe nothing else but negative emotions, as well as avoidance and isolation etc... Yet just imagine, just imagine what once made you happy, and is still within your ability for you to gain whatever this happiness was, or dream to a achievable part in the future that you know will make you happy; that is just a part of hope. Only the start, to for once, try to ignore the lies inside your head, and hope... Hope for what is to come and happen and dream, because once you can do that, your on your way to not only beating this, becoming stronger, but telling yourself you did it, with dreams and hope.

Ashley20 I can't hate myself anymore
  • replies: 3

Hi, Since 2016 Ive been battling depression. In the recent 6 months I've started talking to a councillor and it's the first time since 2016 I've tried to help myself, but even still it doesn't help nothing good ever happens for me, I always try and h... View more

Hi, Since 2016 Ive been battling depression. In the recent 6 months I've started talking to a councillor and it's the first time since 2016 I've tried to help myself, but even still it doesn't help nothing good ever happens for me, I always try and help other people give them what deserve but whatever I give myself always goes wrong sooner or later. Was about to purchase my first car today and was told by the dealer that had held the car for me then sell it out from under me, got refused for a car loan, can't get the job I wanted because I've already done a Cert III in something else, gave myself 2 bulging discs in December in my lumbar spine and has been causing discomfort every since. That's just skimming the iceberg. My mate died is 2016 but the last thing I ever said to him was in an argument, in 2018 I purchased a parrot to help myself get past my depression, a few months later I snap in anger and throw my parrot into a door and he died. I can't express the guilt I have for these things. On top of all that I'm autistic which constantly causes problems for me over my school years I was very badly bullied over it, something 10 years later I still struggle with. I have a very supportive family (especially my cousin) who I talk to regularly however nothing anyone seems to do or say makes me better and nothing seems to stop this curse as I consider it.

Lena_J I don't like talking about me
  • replies: 2

But perhaps I can help you. I won't go into a lot of detail, however if want any specifics please ask. They're not secret. I'm honestly just tired of talking about myself to so many different psychiatrist, GP's, psychologist, clinical nurses and on i... View more

But perhaps I can help you. I won't go into a lot of detail, however if want any specifics please ask. They're not secret. I'm honestly just tired of talking about myself to so many different psychiatrist, GP's, psychologist, clinical nurses and on it goes. And then you get a 'new' diagnosis and they act like I'm supposed to be happy. It's just another label. Can you fix it? No? Well, let's move on then. Yes, I'm a bit sarcastic. The Mental Health System in SA is so broken. I was a very hard worker, in fact I worked my way up to General Manager. I was described as tenacious by my Employers and I loved working. Until one day out of the blue I had a nervous breakdown (or major depressive episode as they call it now). I was 46. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and put on Anti Depressants. Everyone was shocked. How could this happen to her? She's one of the strongest people I know. etc, etc, The months went on and became years, and I was eventually diagnosed BP2. It fit. The manic states where I'd work 20 hours a day. The days I'd wake up and say we're building x today and everyone just assumed I was spontaneous. But I didn't have too many lows until after the breakdown. That seemed to be a catalyst. A few weeks ago I got another diagnosis of complex ptsd. No surprises there really. I won't go into details but something so traumatic happened to be I tried to take my life. I didn't succeed that day so I tried again the next. I was hospitalised just for the night as they believed it was because of the traumatic incident. But now I have triggers. They're bad and they make me spiral into bouts of depression I can't pull myself out of. Everything is black. My partner can't talk me down. I have to say the staff at Mental Health Triage are pretty good at calming me. I'm no longer on any meds. No anti depressants, no anti psychs. The side effects are horrible. Me getting seratonin syndrome and my partner having to deal with a drunk person for three days just isn't worth the grief I cause. Or him finding me out in the street at 3am in the middle of winter with nothing on but a tshirt. If you read the leaflet that comes with the meds and go down to the 1% of the population will suffer from you'll find me in there. So what do I do? Essentially I do nothing. I don't live, I exist. I also have 4 herniated discs which cause a lot of pain. I live for the manic moments. They're the only time I'm happy. I wish I could work.

Jeskarae Struggling to be happy
  • replies: 4

Guess I just need to vent and get some suggestions i was recently in hospital for 4 weeks because of my mental health it is still unclear as to what is going on but I feel like I can’t deal with it and that I don’t want to be like this for the rest o... View more

Guess I just need to vent and get some suggestions i was recently in hospital for 4 weeks because of my mental health it is still unclear as to what is going on but I feel like I can’t deal with it and that I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life, I was manic for about 2-3 and have now started to come down where I feel the complete opposite I just feel so depressed so ready to give up all I want is to feel happy and stay that way but it feels like this will never happen and I don’t know what to do or how to help myself. I feel like I’m such a burden on all my family and now that I’m home they only got 1 good week with me where I was an amazing mum and partner and now it’s back to feeling like shit all the time, be exhausted, being overwhelmed with everything and not getting enjoyment out of the stuff I should and it’s killing me. I know how much my moods effect the people around me and it’s not like I wouldn’t change them if I could. But as I don’t know what’s wrong I don’t know what to do if I’m on the right meds or anything. I just want help and answer and it feels like that is Never going to happen

JesBla9 Economically and Fat-shaped by my Wife
  • replies: 3

Hi, I've had issues with employment for the past two years. As it stands, I have a full time job that I thoroughly enjoy, pays well. My wife works part time, three days per week. I'm also studying full time at university. I want her to be happy, and ... View more

Hi, I've had issues with employment for the past two years. As it stands, I have a full time job that I thoroughly enjoy, pays well. My wife works part time, three days per week. I'm also studying full time at university. I want her to be happy, and have what she wants, but I've lost a number of jobs in recent years but I usually walk into another within a fortnight - I am so lucky, I know. She made some comments yesterday, indicating that I'm a financial leach. - "I am sick of holding this up with only my money". I'm selfish, etc. etc. etc. She decided to take some of her superannuation out, and when she got it, she wanted to use some of it to clear off some small debts, never (ever) did I ask her to take money out for that. If I'd have known that was her plan, I would've spoken to her against doing it. Now, she's thrown that in my face "I worked for that money, MY money paid off this debt, MY money, not yours". She has really emphasized that it was her money, not mine, or not ours. I've always looked at money like it's ours. We have a joint-bank account, we both contribute. No matter what I do now, she's holding that against me. And I'm concerned that this will last forever. I'm working full time so we can afford her to work part time. Next year, in 2021, she's taking up study - leaving her job to do so. And I've been, and will continue to be, supportive of this. Honestly, all of this (+ my already depleting mental state) makes me feel like I'm worthless - simply a banana peel on the bottom of a full bag of garbage. I feel like a waste of space. I feel like an economic waste of space. I feel like, no matter what I do now, her superannuation will always be held above me. I attempted to take out my own super (after hearing of how she feels) to give to her, to put back into her own. I obviously can't do that, but, god, I would if I could. If I had things worth selling, I'd sell and give her the money. I'm working so hard to find my place. I'm studying, working - wanting her to work part time (in fact, I'm encouraging it). Yet, I feel like a terrible husband. I've done many relationship quizzes in the past two days to find out if I'm a bad partner - and I've been honest - and nothing in there indicates that I am. However, I feel like I am. It's like a burden constantly in my mind. I'm always trying to be better, but consistently falling short. Sorry, if this sounds dramatic. Maybe it's COVID-19, but I feel so alone right now. Money is the devil. Thanks, DB.

4x4 Changing medication feeling alive again.
  • replies: 4

So 2 years ago i went on medication for depreasion and anxiety. Suffered from ilnesses for about 10 years and finally tried medication then. Its helped a heap, anxiety is almost gone but still got depression. So as it helps stop the lows it limits th... View more

So 2 years ago i went on medication for depreasion and anxiety. Suffered from ilnesses for about 10 years and finally tried medication then. Its helped a heap, anxiety is almost gone but still got depression. So as it helps stop the lows it limits the highs. 6 moths ago i went off my medication to see how id cope with out it, under discusion with doc. I had never felt so alive world went from black and white to full of colour but then i had 2 major episodes. Wasn't great. Me and doc talked and ive been back on medication Lifes just not interesting. I feel no emotion towards anything. He has surgested maybe swapping medication see how i go with that one. Anyone found a solution for there experinces like that on medication?

Montanna_1997 Dejavu making me sick
  • replies: 2

Hi there everyone. I am constantly getting this weird dejavu feeling that is making me feel really really unwell and almost like I’m not in my body for a second. It takes me about 30 seconds to recover and then I’m scared it always a sign something b... View more

Hi there everyone. I am constantly getting this weird dejavu feeling that is making me feel really really unwell and almost like I’m not in my body for a second. It takes me about 30 seconds to recover and then I’m scared it always a sign something bad is going to happen I’ve asked people about it and they said it would be my severe depression doing it. Has anyone ever experienced this before?

KazP Struggling with husband who refuses to seek help: PND & GAD?
  • replies: 4

Hello, I'm writing in hopes of getting some help from people who have been in a similar experience or are knowledgeable on PND and GAD. My husband has not been professionally diagnosed, but has admitted to being anxious all the time and has struggled... View more

Hello, I'm writing in hopes of getting some help from people who have been in a similar experience or are knowledgeable on PND and GAD. My husband has not been professionally diagnosed, but has admitted to being anxious all the time and has struggled to connect with our 1.5 year old when she was born, and now our 3 week old son, so I am suspecting this is what he may have. I have been with him for 11 years, we have been married for 3 and we are both in our mid-late 20's. Through this time my husband has struggled to hold a job for more than a year due to the fact he believes he deserves more and wants to make a bigger difference in the world. He is currently not working and hasn't been for the past 6 months. When he was a toddler his dad passed away from an overdose and so was raised (with his two older brothers) by his verbally and emotionally manipulative mother - he is still in constant contact with her, but I refuse to have someone like that in my life. To make things worse we live with my parents as neither of us are working and I think that really affects his self esteem as he isn't providing for his family and is relying on someone else. I love him and I'm happy to work through his problems with him, but he REFUSES to seek help as he thinks getting a job will help his problem - this has not worked in the past. He lashes out with anger, abusive words and is emotionally manipulative when he has his extreme lows. This is becoming extremely difficult for me to deal with on a daily basis. He needs help. I need help. I'm not sure what to do. I keep thinking life would be easier if we weren't together; but the last thing he needs right now is a disconnect from the only support he has. Thanks for listening.