Are you sick of feeling like crap?

[Victoria_Point]

I am so sick of feeling like sh..! I have been on every antidepressant under the sun for the last 16 years and nothing works. I have moved to a new area now with a gorgeous house by the beach a pool I don't have to work can stay at home(big part of the problem I think) and I feel completely dead inside. I am 46 years old. Life is wasting away I want to enjoy everything around me and I cant. I go for a walk along the beach with my dog thinking this will help everyone says exercise helps and the whole time im walking im thinking is it too soon to turn around id rather be home with a coffee and a menthol cigarette, ill go a bit further.

I went to Mental Health yesterday and they want me to come off all meds and try cognitive therapy with a Psychologist. It would make sense as they haven't worked for 16 years why poison myself and still feel crappy???? I am okay when im with people which is interesting. I went to a birthday party Saturday and had a great time chatting to all the adults and felt on a kind of high when I left like yes that's how I want to feel again every day. I'm naturally bubbly and funny without sounding too modest but I am and I have this horrible illness that is taking it away from me. My old GP told me he linked depression to loneliness as in studies around the world certain countries have literally no depression like The Philippines as they are surrounded by family all day long.I know I need to get a job but im a Teachers Aid and it is soooo boring and dull. I love the kids but I want something to lift me up where ill be chatting with people all day long like shop work or something. I need to get our of the house that's for sure.

Anyway I feel better from just writing this down even so thanks x

[Batwing]

Good Day

 I read your post and felt that I had to raise my voice.

I have been suffering from depression since 2000 and like you have bounced around a few different medications.  While I cannot provide any advice about how to enjoy life, I did not that you said you don't have to work and enjoyed talking to people and kids.  Have you thought about volunteering in your community, there must be programs where you can get out there and connect like this.

 When I was unemployed, I used to do a little volunteer work to feel like I was doing something useful, but that might be an option for you too.

[Whydidudoit]

It must be horrblie ,I know when I take my pets for a walk I fell so good cause well animals can't talk back and they just love you no matter how you are!

when I go out and drink I feel like I have fun I can talk to anyone I feel normal as well, but if I'm not on anything I feel vulnerable and panic  I'm just a different person!i want to fell normal like everyone else I'm happy to be in australia at least some people help with it and understand it I'm with centerlink cause I can't work but they don't understand that sometimes no I don't wanna turn up to their appointments and taklk about how I feel! I just rather stay at home in my room alone in my covers watching tv!i only have recently gone to a counseller and I told him stuff but went blank I couldn't say everything I should say..

[hilly]

OMG...u sound exactly like me...ur situations as well as ur feelings...i too am suffering like u and i can truly relate with u. i have no financial issues..i live in a beautiful apartment with a fantastic view..in hongkong and i am miserable...ihave been  on all anti depressants over the past 16yrs but to no avail. i wish i had an answer to all the maladies of our mind,

[hilly]

hey u sound exactly like me....ur situations and thinking....i can totally relate with u.

i live in a beautiful house and i dont need to work. yet i am in total misery...been on all kinds of medications for the past 16yrs but to no avail. i wish i had the answer to ur maladies...but keeping extremely busy sometimes helps...

[Sueby]

I feel nothing, I am like an empty vessel. I go through the motions can even crack a smile but inside there is nothing. I dont really have any thoughts.

Like you all I have tried medication but stopped after several months, I have also had counselling and psychology to no avail.

I am not going to harm myself but I know I am cycling to a bad place again.

I have suffered for years, but living in the country is not conducive to good mental health.