Anxious and lonely

[Silverstar87]

I moved to Australia 5 years ago and I had a very difficult time settling in. i used to work in a corporate back home and left all my family to be with my partner. I found it hard to get a job and slowly lost my identity and confidence. After a year - i started getting anxious and scared when meeting people. I started volunteering which helped me get a job and make friends and i was feeling better and now last year we had to relocate again. I am still trying to get a job but people seem hesitant to employ me and I am going through all the previous emotions. I feel worthless when i fail to clear an interview and now i get angry and depressed all the time. I feel resentful towards my partner who is having a good job and doesn't seem to understand how i feel. I have no friends and day by day i am retreating into my shell and feel very lonely and unwanted.

[Bob_22]

Hi Silverstar87,

Thanks for your post. It sounds like you have been having a difficult time which is completely understandable following some big moves. Especially when you only just got your bearings after moving to Australia. I can empathise with you on the job search. For many people, especially those affected with mental health issues, not having employment can have a huge impact on their confidence and self esteem. Also, not having a daily routine or something to work toward can make you feel like you have no sense of purpose and are worthless. Rejection can also bring about unwanted feelings. Unfortunately, we don't have much control over which job prospects we are successful in (outside of doing our best during interviews, CV, cover letter writing etc) but we can control our view of ourselves. I would suggest, similar to your last move, you try to pursue any interests you might have while you are looking for work. Volunteering is great as well as anything with an active community. Local sports clubs, churches (if you're religious) and hobby clubs (e.g. art classes, book clubs) are great ways to meet new people. I would also, during this time, maybe reconnect with any friends or family members you may have so you don't feel so alone. Ultimately, it is also great if you could see a psychologist or mental health worker. You don't have to be unwell to see one. It is quite healthy to see a mental health professional throughout the year to maintain and protect your mental health. Journalling is also a great tool I found when I was job hunting. It let me put my energy into something that I thought was worth while. 

Hope this helps a bit. Keep us updated.

Bob