G'day Rhi-Ann.
Welcome to beyondblue forums. You are welcome to have a read of my thread anti-movement in the depression section. The very title kinda show my experience with anhedonia. I've gone from being a person who lived an active, physical fitness, sporty kind of life and enjoyed everything about it from winning to loosing to training or talking about or learning, coaching, etc just really loving sport/movement. But Now, no longer. I'm anti-movement. Don't want none of that no more. Couldn't even think of something that I actually desired for quite some time, weeks to months.
Spent some time in that space and just accepted it. Emotionally flat about being emotionally flat. Care's floated away like some distant memory. I no longer enjoyed eating, I had angst about old pleasures of meals with family or friends, seemingly vanished before my eyes. All the best and brightest of my goals evaporated, lost their time frames, shriveled up and empty words just losing all meaning for me. I felt like I had a billion questions, no answers and no will to move on from that.
So yeh, I felt that, does that sound familiar to your experience?
One night though when I was particularly hungry I had a bc bar and my mouth was all dry and I couldn't swallow the small bite I had, so I found myself sucking on this morsel and suddenly my taste buds came alive. It was delicious and I was astonished I felt something. I must have sucked that bit for a good few minutes before I could swallow it. I savoured every moment and have moved forward from there, to actually desiring a chocolate cream donut and enjoying every moment of eating those less than 4 times a week. Sometime I discovered some joy in posting what I hope are helpful posts on beyondblue.
These days I'm instead feeling intense emotions, which includes pleasure and unfortunately suffering too, very wild swings now instead of the flatness.
