Anger overload

[jxav95]

I am going through a constant struggle with my anger and I don't know what to do anymore. When I get angry I let the anger over take my body, every feeling and every action. I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone I love and care about or lose my fiance.

[wannabe_alpha]

Hello!!!

I think everybody goes through this phase in life when we tend to be very angry! I also used to get angry a lot before some years! Unfortunately, we lose friends, and people around us due to this.

Don't take me wrong, but do you think your anger level is abnormally high? Its better to get checked once and rule out any serious issues.

Do you practice meditation or yoga? It really helps us be calm and composed.

Regards!

[jxav95]

Thank you for your reply.

I do indeed feel like it's abnormally high and I have spoken to my counsellor but she thinks it's best that we focus on other aspects of my mental health at the moment even though I have told her that it's really beginning to have a large impact on my life.

I don't practice either but have been told they are very useful.

[Sophie_M]

Hi jxav95,

Welcome to our online community. We're so glad that you chose to reach out here this evening - we understand that doing this for the first time can take a lot of bravery. It's great that you're being so proactive in seeking help for your anger. We can hear that you really love your fiance and it's important to you to get your anger under control. Please know that there is help available to you.

We would strongly urge you to seek mental health support from a professional to support you in anger management. If you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service, one of the friendly counsellors can help point you in the right directions and give you some support. You can get in contact with them 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

Another service that might be helpful is Relationships Australia. They are a provider of relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. They offer counselling, programs, groups and courses for people who struggle with anger. You can contact them at 1300 364 277 or https://www.relationships.org.au/

It's also important to note that if at any time you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on violent impulses towards yourself or others, this is an emergency and 000 (triple zero) should be contacted.

Welcome again, and we hope that some of our members can offer you some helpful advice. Feel free to keep us updated on your anger management journey here on your thread.

[CorzEvs]

Hi Jxav95

Well done for reaching out and posting how you feel - That is a brave and an important step in dealing with your anger issues. I can relate to the feelings of anger that you have mentioned - I also felt like I was powerless to being consumed by rage/anger and there was nothing I could do to 'snap out' of that headspace. Please know that you are not alone in your experience.

I also noted that you are speaking to a therapist - Have you and your therapist tried to explore potential triggers and techniques to minimise your anger becoming too much? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an effective way to identify and manage emotions. Are you getting adequate sleep? Eating healthy? Exercising?

Speaking from personal experience - I have successfully managed my anger (and you can too!). I am very in tune with my emotions and when I can sense that my anger is starting to consume me. To alleviate these feelings, I find ways to distract myself and divert my attention elsewhere e.g. going for a walk with the dog, listening to music or sometimes even just taking a nap.

All the best

[White_Rose]

Dear jxav95

Welcome to the forum. Good to see you here and congratulations on taking this huge step.

I'm not sure why your counsellor wants to yo ignore your anger issues especially as it is affecting you so much. It may be that this counsellor does not have much experience with anger issues, they all have their specialities. Having been in the same spot many times I can appreciate how distressing and scary it can be to feel these emotions.

Sophie has given you some very good contact numbers to people who regularly help with anger problems. Perhaps you can see one of these while continuing your contact with your current counsellor. There is nothing that says you must stick with one person.

Meditation and yoga are good ways to help centre you and reduce feeling overwhelmed by your anger. They are not quick fixes so it may be useful to have an additional practice to use until the meditation and yoga start to have a more lasting effect. Have you heard of Mindfulness? This may be helpful. Put it into your search engine and see what it is.

Love to hear from you again.

Mary

[jxav95]

Thank you for your reply.

I was so scared to take this first step but I can't keep letting the anger/rage I feel always control my life.

My counsellor and I have gone through CBT and DBT so I have plenty of skills I can use but we haven't really gone through ways of implementing them in my everday life.

At the moment I'm not sleeping the best but I am working on that with my GP, I'm eating well and I take my dog for a walk and a play everyday.

Thank you for your advice.

Jxav95

[jxav95]

Hi Mary,

I'm not too sure why she won't focus on my anger but when I speak to her next which isn't until next Monday I'm going to request that we put the schema therapy on hold and do some work with my anger, if she doesn't agree I will look into seeing someone else that is able to help me with my anger issues.

I have been through DBT so I know of mindfullness very well, but at times where my anger is at it's peak I don't think to use those mindfullness skills. So I think again I'll have a chat to my counsellor and see whether she can send me through some of the mindfullness skills we went through during DBT.

Thank you for your adivce

Jxav95

[White_Rose]

Hello Jxav95

How are you going today? Sorry I have not replied quickly. It is always my intention but I am having some medical problems which have me focussed in a different direction. Please excuse my tardiness.

It is hard to switch off your anger to click into meditation or mindfulness I know. The anger does tend to fill your whole view. There does come a moment when the anger has lessened a little. It is this moment when you can make the effort to put aside the anger and try another way. I know that sounds easy and it is far from the case. I have found I need to be practising these skills in my other life, the one that is not angry. It is much easier to turn your mind to other things when you are comfortable about the way you are going to change.

For me acquiring these skills also has spin offs in managing my life in general. The small irritations of life do not assume the huge proportions that can sometimes happen. The world inside me is far more calm and ready to take on the self-soothing role. This is important. Doesn't mean you cannot or should not get angry. Most people would say that it's OK to be angry at times. I'm not so sure. It's not that I think we should bottle up our feelings in in any way. That seems the surest way to eventually burst the volcano.

Making changes to the very core of our being does help maintain us in a better state of equilibrium. It does take and effort but the feeling of better control over ourselves is fantastic. I do encourage you to work on these ways of managing yourself.

Mary