20 Year old Male disillusioned with socialising

[bk117]

There was once a time in my life where I was completely terrified of talking and socialising with others, particularly girls - however in my first year of university I managed to come out of my shell and made what I thought to be friends, some of which happened to be female. It seems as I have developed the confidence to socialise people have begun to ignore me. During that same year I had a falling out with my main friends group and was left with only few friends who I had met at uni. Fast forward to this year and although on the surface level I have made friends, I have never felt more alone in my life, not only am I depressed but I feel extremely bitter almost misanthropic at times. The person who I consider my closest friend needs convincing to even sit next to me during lectures, she claims that IRL communication is not important for her which I accepted giving the benefit of the doubt. However today when she did decide to sit next to me, she essentially ignored me talking to another guy instead (no she is not interested in him, she is a lesbian). I'm 100% fine with her having other friends, but from her body language and tone she almost dislikes talking to me, I don't want to confront her about it but sometimes I feel like she is only pretending to be my friend. My other friends rarely make an effort to talk to me unless I'm offering them help with university work in which they are all to eager to talk to me until their issue is resolved. I hate sounding so nihilistic and cynical, I feel like I am treated differently than everyone else, I am not incredibly charismatic nor humorous, it's like all I'm wanted for is my ability to help others. I do enjoy helping others but no one ever seems to even do the courtesy of asking how I am... When I am one-on-one with people I seem to be able to get some friendliness, but as soon as there is another person in the equation it is like I don't exist. People I consider friends sometimes ignore me when I'm walking past, pretending to not see me - or take 2 weeks to respond to messages saying that they 'hadn't seen them'. My parents always say that you'll make friends and find a girlfriend because you're still so young but it just feels like my youth is wasting away as everyone else is having fun. Sometimes I have wondered whether I have narcissism for wanting to be at the centre of attention all the time, but is it too much to ask for others to acknowledge you for once?

[startingnew]

hello and welcome

i apologise for you not having a response yet. the friendship situation sounds pretty rough.

To me it sounds like they might be fake friends and like you for your services as in because your helping and its benefiting them they will stay friends with you.

Do you have other friends outside of school? or have some opportunities to make some other friends within school like some sort of book/art/sport/study group?