Hi, I feel like i really need some support and advice. I have been hospitalised 4 times over 16 year period. I have been to numerous doctors and psychiatrists. My gp is brilliant but over the years I,ve had numerous diagnoses. Major depression, anxiety, chronic PTSD, scizo affective disorder, schizophrenia. Anyway whatever it is I have it has caused me to be medically retired from an 18 year career and sacked from 2 jobs in the last 2 years. The thing is I am feeling the most balanced I have ever felt, my meds are good, my psychiatrist and gp are brilliant. I have just enjoyed a 6 month semester at tafe where the environment was incredibly positive and confidence building. I intend to go back next year and fully retrain but for now I find myself with nothing to do over the holiday break. I mean there is plenty to do around the house but I,m finding that the old black dog is starting to creep back in and negative thoughts and actions are taking over. I have a loving wife and three beautiful children but I hate the way my illness drags me down and makes me just sit on the couch with my head in my hands with my cogs turning with negative thoughts. I crave happiness and the ability to interact with my wonderful children but instead I just sit here feeling sorry for myself. I wish I could just haul myself out of this sad state and become a positive interactive person but I feel like the illness consumes my life. As I,ve said I,ve got all the bases covered good gp, good psychiatrist even the best clinical psychologist in sydney. The thing is I have always worked and now I,m sitting here doing nothing with apathy setting in. Please if anyone has any suggestions on what I should do to drag myself out of the dumps I would really appreciate it. We do have some holidays booked for Christmas /new year which I,m really looking forward to, but what to do until then? Also my illness prevents me from taking a stressful job. Is there employers out there that support people with mental illness? Do stress free jobs exist? I just hope I,m not destined for a life without employment, I would DEFFINATELY go crazy! By the way good to see so many people posting on this wonderful forum, I think together we can all break down the stigma of mental illness.
