Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[NobleAlarc32]

For anyone who needs advice when making jokes, here’s some advice someone told me once:

“Well, look at it this way: chefs can’t use yolks without breaking a few eggs, and comedians can’t tell jokes without-“

And then he fell off the wall. If only the castle’s cavaliers could’ve reassembled poor Humpty... 🥺

[Not_Batman]

From my son:

when the toast had popped you can say breakfast is bready!

[NobleAlarc32]

Q. What did Irish astronomer Finnegan do when he misplaced his suspenders?

A. He used O’Ryan’s belt instead!

[shirker]

Hey @NobleAlarc32 - if that's not the best astronomy joke, then it is at least deserving of a constellation prize!

[Jojo100]

Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

A: Three - a right ear, a left ear and the final frontier!

[Ggrand]

Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention

They call it the enter prize.

[shirker]

I tries to sneak into one of those Star Trek conventions disguised as a doctor … the security guard instantly realised that I wasn't the real McCoy

[NobleAlarc32]

I was going to write and post a joke about hot dogs, but the composition is questionable at best, and the quality is the wurst, so I felt it best to not unleash it here. I hope that’s fine.

Anyway, gotta dash, huns!

[Ggrand]

Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the ball?

because it was a Moth ball.....

[Croix]

OK, Star Trek jokes (plus chickens)

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Dr. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! I'm a doctor not an farmer!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Data: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous?