Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

5 ants rent an apartment.

they realize there is plenty of room so they invite another 5 ants to join them

They are now Tenants

[Eagle Ray]

What do you call it when young sheep run riot in a bedding store?

Bedlamb

[Fiatlux]

Why did Mozart hate Chickens…

Because their favourite composer was Bach! Bach! Bach!

[Eagle Ray]

Fiatlux, I find that hilarious 🤣 It made me think of a Shaun Micallef skit from years ago, “David McGhan’s World of Bach” which is totally absurdist which appeals to my sense of humour. It can be seen on YouTube if you want about 3 minutes of extreme silliness.

What kind of water craft do chamber musicians paddle in?

A Bach canoe 🛶 

[Fiatlux]

Micallef is brilliant… I can’t believe that skit was 15 years old. Micallef was quite cute back then…

I had cats named Mozart and Beethoven in the early 1990’s, his Cats skit is pretty cute too… 👍

[Eagle Ray]

Yes, I've seen the cat one too and just rewatched it. It had me laughing out loud 😂 I think these David McGhan skits may be more than 15 years old but that may be when they were put up on YouTube. Yes, there's something quite debonair about Micallef in his suit. Another one of his skits that has me rollicking for it's visual humour and nonsensical absurdity is called Spiffington Manse.

Here is another terrible joke.

What do you call the lawnmower man who cuts grass that has painted designs on it?

Mows-art.

[Not_Batman]

Two people walk into a bar. One lost a tooth, the other got a black eye.

[Eagle Ray]

Ha ha! I had to think about that one for a moment Not_Batman.

A man suddenly discovered he had the power of flight and could cover vast distances across the ocean. What was his name?

Albert Ross

[sbella02]

Albert Ross cracked me up!

This one's probably been told before here:

Has anyone heard that rumour about butter? I probably shouldn't be spreading it.

[Eagle Ray]

What is the new, popular bodybuilding craze called that is spreading amongst eggplants, zucchinis and potatoes?

Veggie-might