Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[mmMekitty]

Hmmm, Croix, my space, my willingness to share, my smile, things like that?

I'll tell you this joke, from the vet, one of many they post on a sign outside:

What do you call an elegant fish?

 - Sofishticated

Hehe - wasn't that bad!

[Croix]

Dear MK and all~

It was 'your name', fraid it was not your smile, space or all the rest.

Yes your fish joke was pretty Ok, here's one seems appropriate:

What kind of fish eats mice?

A catfish

-C

[Fiatlux]

What’s the best day to give a dog a bone?
Chewsday.

That is so corny... 

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A Pork Chop

[Fiatlux]

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Cause she always runs away from the ball...

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone…

I asked my child  if they have seen my newspaper.

They told me that newspapers are old school. They said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me their  iPad.

That fly didn’t stand a chance.

[mmMekitty]

Good one, Gramdy [LRC LOLs!] Those new tablets are way too big to swallow ... & they don't dissolve in water much eithe.

[Croix]

I've just accidentally swallowed the cat's tablets.

Don't ask meow.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi,

It's Thursday today but I'm allocating this to be Wednesday because I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit!

Too bad I can't get the bottle open.

[Fiatlux]

Why was the magician the captain of the soccer team?
He was the best at hat tricks.

What is soccer?
It has been described as a game with 22 players, two linesmen, and 20,000 referees

[Fiatlux]

I had my patience tested 

And the Test came back Negative! ☹️

For Christmas…

What do you call a computer that grows on a Christmas Tree?

A Pine Apple