Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

Dear Moon, I look forward to 4 months time.

What did the baker sing on the way to bakery?
Pie ho! Pie ho! It’s off to work I go!

[Moonstruck]

Pie Ho?? You can do better than that Croix.....

By the way, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith

"really, what's the name of his other leg?"......heheheheheheheh {Ok I confess...I stole it from Mary Poppins)

[Croix]

Um, have you considered giving it back?

OK, if we are gong to talk about stealing...

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.

[tranzcrybe]

My uncle 'found' a bundle of palings and laid them out across his front lawn. Needless to say, he was arrested and charged with causing a fence.

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone..


When the police caught him stealing the batteries...he got immediately charged!

[tranzcrybe]

What's worse is they were rechargeable batteries, so there were multiple charges over the years. You know, he put the batteries in his briefcase which also contained a bag of chips - he was a goner with a case of a salt and battery brought against him as well.

[Not_Batman]

Shakespeare used to write everything in pencil, but I don't know if it was a 2B or not 2B

[Guest9337]

Jesus said we can move mountains by prayer and faith. He is such a kidder, we need shovels and trucks to move mountains, not feelings and belief.

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone....🤗 hugs

An elderly woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane …

Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except the elderly lady who was blind.....A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said....‘Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?’......The blind old lady replied,....‘No thanks, but maybe Max would Like to stretch his legs.’

Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!...The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered.....They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

[tranzcrybe]

I think you misinterpreted the message, DnG...

"Prare & Fayth" was the local landscaping company - very good at what they did. Hence the commendation.