Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone...

What do you get when you cross a Ferrari, nuts, and chocolate?

A Ferrari Rocher!

[tranzcrybe]

True story...

My 4 yo niece was visiting her grandma and being shown around the garden. "These are Roses, and this is an Agapanthus, and that one is a Hibiscus" grandma proudly pointed out to my Niece, who stood in awe as she studied the last plant intently. "So where are all the biscuits, grandma?" she asked...

[Croix]

My mum told me, when I visit grandma in hospital, I should take her flowers.
So, when grandma wasn't looking, I took them.

[Ggrand]

I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital...

But they kept finding me in the ICU

[Birdy77]

Hello friends,

Whenever there is a potato-hiding competition i often win because my carbo-hide-rate is quite high.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Birdy....

Its so lovely to see you beautiful friend...

🦋💚🌹🧸🤗...

[Guest9337]

Great to find the joke thread...

Every dead body on Mount Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe just calm down.

Nothing is scarier than attempting the first fart after diarrhea.

The prostate doctor snaps on their glove behind you, you feel something and they ask. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Your doctor hands you a pile of prescriptions... The top prescription is for your arthritis, but it may cause a heart failure. The second prescription should prevent a heart attack, but it could damage your liver. The third prescription should prevent liver troubles, but it may destroy your spleen. The fourth protects the spleen but has been known to eat away the prostate, the fifth...

And finally :

Intelligence is like underwear : it is important to have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

[Croix]

I know it's not Wednesday but if David'n'Goliath can break tradition so can I

What do you call a lethargic baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

Wave to Birdey and all

-C

[quirkywords]

I made so many rash decisions I became a dermatologist

.

The Wednesday worst joke is I hope it is a chance to tell a bad joke everyday.!!!

[Croix]

I went to see a dermatologist.
I asked him to do everything he could to stop me from breaking out.

He locked all the doors and barricaded the windows.