Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[amberlite]

There are two cannibals and they are eating a clown then one cannibal says to the other cannibal Does this meat taste funny ?????

[eight]

was late to the cannibals' dinner party so they gave me the cold shoulder

[NobleAlarc32]

Mad Scientist: Hm... I wonder what would happen if a joke was anachronised... I know! I'll build a machine that repurposes jokes into those of different eras!

***
PAST
Q: For what purpose did the hen proceed 'cross yonder road?

A: Why, to venture onward to the far side of said road, of course!

***
FUTURE
y 🐔 x 🛣️
cos 🛣️⬇️
roflmao 🤣

***
PARALLEL
Q: Hey, did you know chickens cross roads?

A: Seriously?! Whoa... wait... what's a "chicken"?

Q. Uh... a road that twists and turns, I think?

A. Oh... so the chicane running parallel to itself many times over is a metaphor.

Q. Yeah, I... guess...?

A. Most amusing. Now, let's eat our nondescript sustenance before it goes tepid.

Q. Ooh, blandy!

***
Mad Scientist: Wait... that wasn't funny at all! What good is having a doctorate in mad science if everything I build goes horribly wrong, but in a non-dramatic way?!


(Probably not funny, but fatigue'll do that to one... 😴)

[eight]

a translator, fansubber, and a localiser walk into a bar, an izakaya, and a maccas. they debate the best way to convey this joke's punchline

[NobleAlarc32]

@eight How is it that the puns you (inf)use are so bad, yet so very good? 🤣

[eight]

that's the general consensus yes

[eight]

[me not reading the news but kinda going off the vibe] the royal family MUST resign

[Hanna3]

Hi eight,

Lovely to see you again! That one gave me quite a chuckle, thank you!! Hope you're keeping OK. Little Sam sends best wishes to you. Cheers!

[eight]

no problem its only natural i lambast the worst oprah interview ive been witness to. i mean, i looked under my seat and there was no free car to be found. thank you for mr sam's wishes beachie sends the same to you!

[Hanna3]

Thanks for another chuckle, eight! It's lovely to say hello to you! Little Sam is keeping OK - arthritis in his paw is giving the poor little guy a bit of pain but he still runs around with that lugubrious grin on his face and his tongue lolling out sideways... hope you are keeping well! I'm so over the Harry and Meagan stuff!!! You take care of yourself - I always like to see you've been out and about on BB. Cheers from me and the small furry guy!