Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[eight]

the orange juice company fired me for my adhd. couldn't concentrate, they said

[Ggrand]

Why can’t a ladybug 🐞 ever hide?

Because it is always spotted..

[Croix]

Dear EM (with a wave to NobleAlarc32)~

You had it right, your BF is probably thinking of Helen of Croy, a little known historical figure

C

[ecomama]

Oh dear Helen of Croy.... yeah right Croix.

SO I WON?

YIPPEEEE!

We all know winning isn't the important thing, don't we?
It's the ONLY thing lol!

Thankyou for settling that argument Croix lol.

Tbh when I say Croix out loud it reminds me of Ab Fab and they say "Le Croix" alot. It's a designer label or something on the show or in real life, I wouldn't know.

EMxxxx

[Croix]

Dear EM

Christian Lacroix's interaction with Eddie and Patsy can be found in Vogue magazine here.

https://www.vogue.com/article/christian-lacroix-ab-fab

Croix (note the lack of l'article défini)

[NobleAlarc32]

Helen of Croy... Ateea the Hun... Napoleon Balloonart... isn't it fun to learn about rhetorical pigeons? 🙃

[eight]

my wife told me i had no sense of direction so i packed my bags and right left away

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone....

Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him......

.“Oh, relax....It’s only a baby,” he says..... “Don’t you hear the rattle?”

[Croix]

What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 metres long?
A “Pi”-thon.

and there's more ...

What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.

[NobleAlarc32]

A camera recounts how they and their group of friends reacted when stumbling across a scary monster in the Urban Jungle:

"Yeah, I captured it alright. Hero of the hour, at least according to Digital Alarm Clock... dude wouldn't shut up about it. Every five minutes like... well, like clockwork. Excuse the pun.

"Well, they were useless, to say the least! LCD Monitor froze, Wikipedia Entry offered nothing but blatantly incorrect information, and as for .exe File? All they could do was run!

"Oh, and who gets all the credit? A little thing named Everyday Transaction Account! I do all the work, and THEY get all the perks and privileges just for having no annual fees! How is that fair?!

"Ugh... this is just like when I caught DVD-ROM Burner cheating the system by partaking in video game piracy, only for Latest Smartphone Model's pic to be chosen just because they have a 3 megapixel lens!

"But just between you and me... they were only chosen just because they're slimmer and prettier. I swear, it's tough being an Outdated Digital Camera in the modern world... still, at least my firmware doesn't need updating every 30 seconds.

"Did I mention my brand name? silverfox. Yup, I'm worth more figures than Digital Calculator over there, who only ever seems to have crude humour on their mind. Shares in silverfox are at an all-time high, just like my buddy Private Passenger Jet.

"In short, as my cousin Pocket Creature Encyclopædia always says, "DATA NOT FOUND". Words of wisdom if ever there were any...

"Wait... have I heard giggling this entire interview? Laugh Track, is that you in the audience? HA! I knew it! Good to see you! Oh... "see"... camera pun, lol!"