Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

Which sport is the quietest?

Bowling. You can hear a pin drop.

(This joke dedicated to Moonstruck)

[sbella02]

This is one my sister shared with me:

Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar?

He heard that the drinks were on the house.

[Eagle Ray]

What did the person say who doesn’t like to drink too much but was feeling grumpy?

‘I need to have a little whine”.

[Fiatlux]

I don’t have a joke but while watching Mastermind this evening I saw an interesting T-shirt slogan

”you can’t polish a nerd”  which I thought was quite cute. Might get one for myself 

[Croix]

And now for something completely different ...

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink?
Descartes says, “I think not” and then he disappears.

[Eagle Ray]

Why did Shakespeare have so much trouble choosing which pencil to draw a sketch with?

Because he kept saying, "2B or not 2B?" 🤔

[Eagle Ray]

I didn't think of this joke. I heard it on the TV show Big Bang Theory tonight.

Why can't you trust anything atoms say?

Because they make up everything.

[sbella02]

Where do rainforest animals go to university?

A hippocampus!

[ReeBecca]

One my kids told me that always makes me laugh..

”knock, knock”

”whose there?”

”I did ap”

”I did ap-who” 😂😂😂😂

[Fiatlux]

This is not a joke…

Brown Bears Around The World are asking, What Did They Ever Do To be Compared to Men?

To be honest said Chairman Bear, Goldilocks broke into our house! We just want Justice and Equality! And the right to defend our homes and our Families.