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Worst Joke Wednesday

Neil_1
Community Member

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

 

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

 

1,320 Replies 1,320

sbella02
Community Champion
Community Champion

The blindfolded darts joke was great.

 

What's a golf club's favourite music genre? Swing.

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

What music do they listen to on the orthopaedic ward?

 

Hip hop

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

A man was with a tour group at a working farm where they got to participate in various farming activities. When it came to milking the cows the rest of the tour group seem to have disappeared. Why did the man become worried?

 

Because he couldn’t find the udders (others).

Knock, knock! Who's there? Noah. Noah who? Noah April Fools' joke?

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Why did the cow cross the road?

 

To gt to the udder side of course.

Robby60
Community Member

A sales rep was driving along a country road when he saw a chicken running along next to his car. Astounded at the speed the chicken was running he decided to follow it when it turned onto a track. As he chased it he noticed it had three legs. Eventually it ran into a large barn. The sales rep parked his car and went into the barn. He saw no sign of the chicken but saw an old farmer sitting on a chair. He asked the farmer if he had seen the 3 legged chicken. The old farmer replied, "Yes I saw it," and continued, "I breed them". The Sales rep said, "Really?! you breed three legged chickens?" The old farmer said, "Yes, I like the drumstick, my wife likes the drumstick and our son likes the drumstick so I breed 'em". The sales rep asked, "Well what do they taste like?" The old farmer replied, "I don't know, I've never caught one." (Thanks to Ronald Reagan)

 

 

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, "Buk Buk BUK." The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk and say, "Buk Buk BuKKOOK!" The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books. The chickens leave as before. The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, " "Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!

The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them. She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit…

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Croix, that is hilarious 🤣 

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Why did the cricket umpire have trouble making a decision?

 

Because he was stumped.

sbella02
Community Champion
Community Champion

On the sport theme, what did the baseball glove say to the ball?

 

Catch ya later!