Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[sbella02]

What kind of vehicle does a pig drive?

A hambulance. 

[mmMekitty]

Thanks Croix. 

Knitting on a treadmill has me in stitches.

[Croix]

I was away Wednesday so I'll make up for it today:)

Al Pacino is to star in a new movie about a man who wins the World Knitting Championships...

Its called 'Scarf Ace'.

[Robby60]

Never played darts blindfolded? You don't know what you're missing.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Robby60.

hehehe  - I think that's how I prefer to play darts. though not so good for the spectators ....a draining experience for them ....

[Croix]

For my holidays last year, I threw a dart at a map of the world and decided to go to wherever it landed.
I had a fantastic two weeks sat next to the skirting board.

[Eagle Ray]

Ha ha! That made me laugh Croix.

A detective received information that suggested a clue was hidden in a meat pie. He searched the pie to no avail before eating it. Why was he so frustrated?

Because he couldn’t find the source/sauce.

[Croix]

I get quite enough sauce from you and MK thank you very much

-C

[Eagle Ray]

Hehehe:)

A man was always walking behind his friends while eating a meat pie. Why did he feel frustrated?

Because he needed (to) ketchup (catch up).

[Croix]

I know that Shepherd’s Pies don’t contain Shepherds and Cottage Pies aren’t made from cottages, but with meat pies...

...what’s the beef?