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Worst Joke Wednesday

Neil_1
Community Member

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

 

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

 

1,332 Replies 1,332

sbella02
Community Champion
Community Champion

What a confusing sentence, I love it! Hahaha.

 

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

What did the grape say when it was crushed?

 

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Oh no I got my days mixed up!  Oh well, it's Wednesday somewhere. 😊

Dedicated to Not_Batman 🙂

 

"Today's yesterday's tomorrow

Yesterday’s today was yesterday

Tomorrow’s today is tomorrow

Yesterday’s day after tomorrow is tomorrow

Tomorrow’s day before yesterday was yesterday

The day before yesterday’s tomorrow was yesterday

The day after tomorrow’s yesterday is tomorrow

The day before yesterday’s day after tomorrow"

 

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Croix- that was just confusing!

 

I was time travelling yesterday but I got a bit hungry, so I went back four seconds.

 

rt

(Much like RT, I'm also not doing this on a Wednesday, it's Sunday now)

 

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

A satisfactory.

If time is money…

Then is an ATM a time machine?

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

sbella02, that reminds me that I actually lived near a bakery that was called 'The OK pie shop'!

 

Why did the worker quit her job at the donut factory?


They got sick of the hole business.

 

 

Hello everyone…🤗

 

Why does it take pirates a long time to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at C!

sbella02
Community Champion
Community Champion

What do pigs use when they get sick and need medication? Oinkment.