Hello ...s... ,.
I read your post and was quite concerned for you. I am a 58 year old man. I want to say to you that your thoughts and anxiety etc are okay to have. You are not being selfish, complicated etc. You are allowed to feel this way and you are as important as everyone else in this world.
When I was young I went through a lot of trauma etc and I now know that what happened when I was a child has affected my life enormously. I wish all the mental health support we have today was around when I was a child, teenager and young adult.
I recommend that you seek some help. You were so brave putting up your post. My daughter is a young adult and I worry about her mental health a lot. Your parents, friends etc may be worried about you too, so please talk to someone you feel will listen to you and/or seek professional help.
I just want to see all young people do well.
Take care. You are important and loved.
