Hey there, thank you so much for posting here and we warmly welcome you to the forums.
Goodness, you must be feeling so awful, I'm so sorry. I hope you can find some comfort here on the forums.
I've had about three distinct breakups, and after each one, I've tried to reflect on how I can best heal. I can offer some advice from that perspective, if it would help.
Make sure you're taking time for yourself first and foremost - engaging in things you love to do, any hobbies, passions, activities... exercising, immersing yourself in nature, all of these can help a lot. Try to get back into a routine that also involves these things.
If it was a good relationship that ended on agreeable terms, grant yourself the space to be upset, to cry, to be angry or frustrated, to reminisce about good moments.
If it was a breakup that was for the best (i.e. you weren't being treated very well, or maybe you didn't treat them well, or perhaps a mix of both), try to do the same in terms of expressing your emotions as they come. It may help to write a list of reasons that the breakup was for the best (e.g. "they did XYZ that made me feel XYZ"), and to keep it somewhere that is easily accessible if you start to worry that a mistake was made in ending it. Have grace and patience with yourself and when you're ready, you can start to reframe it as a learning experience and reflect on what you will take away from it.
It may also help to surround yourself with people who love and care about you. Social support can be really effective after a breakup, if you're somebody who loves and craves company. It can also help to fill that void and restore some of that positive feeling of connection.
Try to be patient with yourself as much as you can. There's no timeline for healing after a breakup, it'll take however long it takes. The good thing is that there are things that you can do to help yourself feel better, even if that sense of contentment and wholeness may come and go. It won't be a linear progression. But, working on yourself is always beneficial.
I hope this resonates with you. Please feel free to keep chatting if you wish, and know that we're here to support you.
All the best, SB
