Friendship group troubles and I can’t show negligible emotions

[Michael_Ronald]

Hi, I’m new here I just want to vent and see what you guys think I should do. I am a young male. For the better part of last year I was chasing a girl who didn’t really want me i guess and it went on and off for half a year until finally for the second time (I got rejected first time) she said yes to bring my gf, it lasted about two months. The breakup was fine until a little later where at a party where there was some exchange in words which left us very angry at each other. This happend late November.

Fast forward till the start of this year in about 8 weeks I managed to get two friends to hate me and they didn’t even give me a reason, I started talking to another girl who after I asked her out and got rejected by her, she started dating her ex who cheated on her, not sure what I did wrong here haha but I was very nice and respectful even her parents loved me, my close trio friendship group separated with one hating me and the other kinda like a child in a divorce where we didn’t make him pick sides so he has to try and stay in the middle. I left that friend group and tried to get back into a old friend group but they have gotten so many inside jokes that no matter what I do I just seem to be left out.

mix this all together and I am focusing on the gym a lot and it’s just destroyed my social confidence and my trust in others, I had my gf break up with me out of no where, I got friendzoned then ghosted by a girl who only wanted my attention until her ex cheating boyfriend got back with her, I lost my close friendship trio and a seperate best friend and can’t fit into any friendship group, I don’t understand how I let it get to this 2 years ago everything was perfect now the only thing that is going well is my family. 

[Croix]

Dear Michael_Ronald~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum and I'm sorry your relationships have been so difficult over the past couple of years.

To have a friendship with a girl I guess you must borth want it to happen. And that is something that may not be straight away but as you get used to each other and liking grows. Unfortunately both the girls you mention were not that keen, you said yourself the first one "didn't really want you"  so it is no real surprise matters did not work out.

With the other I might guess that her primary interest was her ex, so again there was no real desire to get together wiht you and see if you could grow together.

It's simply unlucky you seem to have selected a couple of unsuitable people. Can I suggest trying to find someone who wants to get to know you better? This is not as hard as it seems as there are two people who are lookng, you and the other person. If it does not work out that is probably not a reflection on anyone, just things did not go as hoped.

I can't realy talk about that 'trio' group of friends, as you don't say went went wrong.  Sometimes things simply do not last as interests and circumstances change.

The older group you tried to rejoin might be OK, I dunno. True they will have changed since you left that group and it may take time to reestablish yourself with them and have to put up with strange 'in' references in the meantime.

Relationships - stable ones - are complicated and do take time. I've only found a few firm friends in a long life. At least you get on well with you family, which is pretty good.

Good luck for the future

Croix