Croix Parler

[Croix]

I'd like to use this pace for miscellaneous matters that don't fit elsewhere

Thanks

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Life has to be a balance, and working for Ebenezer Scrooge does need something to take your mind of it and exercise other talents.

If you are asking me I think you have to say yes to both, if no other reason that by refusing one you will always feel regret, and could lose faith in your abilities too and maybe start doing less and less..

If you do have to take some time off from your work if you get too tired then so be it. All workers need breaks at times and your elderly boss will manage. It is not as if it is an all or nothing thing with him, maybe some days on some off is the way it will work out.

Having known you for so long I am sure you can manage both, and the 'tournament' uses a part of your personality that is fundamental and necessary to you - I hope you are chosen.

I would say 'break a leg' but that seems unlikely when bowling

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Hi Croix.....yes I was chosen. What now?  Before the try outs I knocked myself out doing stuff for Ebenezer Scrooge (love that, can I use it?). so I would get a head start.  So I have done a lot already but almost had a breakdown doing it.  (it entailed making phone calls when I had to sound calm,professional, organised, very together lady). none of which I was really feeling.  How the hell I avoided cracking up altogether I don't know.   There will be more work but at least I made a decent head start...I hope.....and he doesn't take too much advantage of me. (the other activity is much more important to me, as you know, so ...we shall see) love xx

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I suspect you may be able to assume multiple personas and the calm,professional, organized, very together lady is one you have used in the past. Personas as you no doubt know are the outside appearance and do not always reflect the inner feelings, though the closer you can get the better.

By all means use Ebernezer Scrooge, I'm sure Charles D would not mind.

I'm very please you were selected for the next tournament and am sure that it in itself wil be a pick-me-up even if you become fatigued in the process. I admire the fact you made preparations on speck. I can't see you having a breakdown over that.

"I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

The internet ate my first post so I'll try again.

As I"m sure you already know the persona one displays ot hte world is not necessarily echoed inside oneself, so it is no surprise that when you were again appearing as a calm,professional, organized, very together lady inside you were not feeling quite the same.

Mind you this is not the first time you have had to present this persona for ES and I think practice may have a soothing effect in time.

Incidentally I'm sure Charles D would be pleased if you used Ebernezer Scrooge so by all means keep on doing so.

I"m very pleased you were selected and am sure your experience nae the lift you gain from once again being on the bowling green will more than mae up for fatigue.

Actually ES said some reasonable things at times:

"I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Hi Croix......they gave me a difficult job with lot of responsibility if you get what I mean and have supreme confidence in me...hooray!   The only person who is scared and doubting me is me.  First thing when I awake in the morning, I mean the first couple of seconds as soon as I open my eyes, the terror begins..."What the hell have I just signed up for?  Can't do it, you fool!"   it only lasts couple of seconds though and as the day wears on I realise I have no choice now and it's a great opportunity.  one thing I have noticed, I don't seem to be dwelling so intently on my body pain, or my partner who  died a few years ago! Is this a positive?   Moon S x

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Of course it is a positive, motivation and distraction togehter can make a whale of a difference. The sheer volume of learning and carrying out of your bowling role would just about fill your life -and remind you of how capable you are.

I just realised from my previos quote the are two 'ES's, Eagle Ray and Ebenezer Scrogs, it was the  latter I was quoting.

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Dear Croix.....more changes to Forum I see. hope there aren't as many casualties as last time it all changed!  Well I managed to get here so it can't be too hard.  Yes you are right....the "sheer volume" is huge...larger than I have done in a long while....overwhelming.  and Yes my days are filled to the brim and its hard to believe I found it so hard to have a whole day or weekend stretch out in front of me with no responsibilities.....I still wake first thing in the morning and think "what have I said Yes to?  it's too hard, I am too old to see this through....the"preparations" are a LOT!!  I know you know to what I am referring!  If I ever do get them in alignment, it will be like a huge weight has been lifted.....and I can begin ENJOYING myself.   I recall a line from Eat Pray Love. "In order to get to the castle, first you have to swim the moat"......Moon S

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Yes, with the changes to the Forum I was out of action for a couple of days but everything seems to be in working order now.

Frankly I"m glad you have been given "sheer volume" to deal wiht. I know oyu are capable, experienced and can do it. Conquering a difficult task like that (which you have done before) may help convince you that your age does not matter, and just as importantly there are ways to stop thinking about loss, and this is one of them.

When you have large tasks before you had developed ways of dealing with them, successfully and they will hold you in good stead now

Have a restorative snack....

"Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them."

Croix

[Moonstruck]

It really doesn't matter dear boy (about the cucumber sandwiches) I had a crumpet with Lady Harbury and you are quite right.  Her hair has turned quite gold from grief.  It has certainly changed its colour though by what means I really cannot say.

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Cucumber sandwiches are indeed a more refined consumable than muffins. I remeber as a kid my parents would make them (using white bread that was in short supply) having cut the crusts off and serving them as little wedges on a three-tier cake/sandwich  stand to the more notable guests from the parish together with tea in eggshell-thin china. If I recollect there were also macaroons.  I did my best to sneak one or two sandwiches and they were delicious.

Now when food is plentiful I've not thought of them in years, maybe over the week-end.

Thanks for reminding me

Croix