Croix Parler

[Croix]

I'd like to use this pace for miscellaneous matters that don't fit elsewhere

Thanks

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Its my favourite too...and my sons'...we sometimes quote out of the blue at each other!  I have the DVD here if you want to borrow.   I like some of the Monty Python sketches too.especially The Dead Parrot..remember that one? " " this parrot's dead"   "No he's not he's just having a rest"....."THAT IS AN EX PARROT".....

My counsellor brought up an interesting point and she is right I suspect. I told her that one night here alone, I began talking, sort of to myself, remembering exactly what happened, what was said and done etc when my wn marriage broke up and how circumstances nearly destroyed me.   I had 2 little boys and could relive their trauma and mine, clear as a bell, as if it were happening NOW .    The son who had the worst time was the one who is going throught it now.....and he has his own little boy.  

I can see I was projecting my own trauma onto my son, and his trauma onto his own little boy now.   She said I didn't work thru the trauma then  { I used alcohol to survive} and was re living it again, through these different people  {my son and his son}  she explained it was "their" story,and they may both be processing it much different to how that young mother did so many years ago.      It has been as if I've been watching them go thru what I did, but truth is, they maybe processing this, their own story in a different way.   My son certainly isn't using alcohol like I did. and I must realise my grandson is Not that same little boy mine was all those years ago...I told her "Its like its happening all over again".....I sort of understand now.  I will try.

Be careful Croix or "I will say Ni to you".....

[mmMekitty]

I have a soft spot for Monty Python too. My favourite may be "The Meaning of Life", well, most of it, & then "life of Brian", which, of-course, is so irreverent.

Can't stay long. I wanted to give you, Moon & Croix, great big hugzies.

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I think your councilor has a very good point. We all tend to think that other people's experience may be similar to ours, and if you are grieving for your history that that clouds how you see things now.

Your experiences can certainly be useful in helping to understand the situation your son and grandson are going though, but they are indeed different people and handle things in different ways. It is easy to underestimate how capable others can be in coping with the horrible things in life

Simply loving and caring are the important things you can do.

Its no doubt true alcohol would have acted as a buffer to deaden some of the pain you felt, however it may also have left part of you still joined to that time and the hurt, so I'm glad you are seeing a councilor and hopefully wil reach the stage where you can look back with sadness but not have to relive things again.

They are over and you are a very different person now, stronger, wiser, have a very demanding interest  and with an excellent taste in humor:)

Geoffrey: [is confronted by a hooded figure with a scythe] Yes? [pause] Is it about the hedge?

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

This is my second attempt, I noticed the first one I posted this morning disappeared- or is in limbo somewhere - sigh. If a similar message poss up you will know why.

I guess it is easy to see others troubles as being similar to you own, however people, even ones one is close to, handle things in different ways. I guess one thing one has to remember is they can be competent and you do not have to assist them in them same way you would have needed assisting.

Instead being a loving presence with some practical help where you can may be enough - even if it does not feel like it.

I'd imagine your own trials, having been blunted at the time by alcohol, may still have a very real hold on you, causing it to seem nearer that it might.  So I'm gad you have a councilor helping, and I hope in time you will simply be able to look bak -not unmoved - but with distance and without great unhappiness. That's how it has worked for me.

You are anyway a different person now, More experienced, stronger (even if you disagree), with a very demanding sideline - plus an excellent taste in humor

One can always be hopeful:)

Geoffrey: [is confronted by a hooded figure with a scythe] Yes? [pause] Is it about the hedge?

Croix

[mmMekitty]

Sorry Croix, I think this latest post here was intended for Moon.

I think you, Croix, have said some very wise things to Moon. I don't know what else to add.

Only, I  am wanting to send you lots of hugzies, Moon & Croix. Hugzies for warmth & comfort.

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear MK~

Yes you are quite right, I got confused after hte first post disappeared into the ether. I've now corrected the greeting:)

Sending Moon a hug is enough I'm sure, you don't have to add anything, your presence is always a comfort.

Croix

[mmMekitty]

Croix, do I now get my post corrected (just remove the mention)? Nah, where would we stop?

But wouldn't it be nice if all our mistakes could be so ealily mended? Mind, it might take a very large portion of our lives, just correcting mistakes... at least for me it would.

Hmmm, maybe put those Pesky Penguins to work, pecking out the mistakes & poking in the corrections. They would be brilliant!

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear MK~

I'm not sure how things would turn out. While making the pesky penguins do something useful would be a plus we would end up different people, as I'm sure most of us would like ot edit out the unpleasant parts and mistakes. Unfortunately that is - no matter how unpleasant - how we learn and change. For one thing how could we be empathetic otherwise?

The  move "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" has a look at this concept from a comedy-romance point of view.

Having said all of that I"m afraid there are still some things I really would like ot change if I could

Croix

[mmMekitty]

Croix, I know, I am more than the sum of my parts; I am also the sum of my experiences. Surely, though, som of the little, incidental mistakes, like typos, or mistaking a name or place or year, for the sake of clarity & accuracy could be beneficial, & not a source of harm?

How terrible, if I could have passed my typing test at school! Hehehehe.

Hello  Sumo Cat. Where are you reining from tonight?

I'm getting cold enough to put on my big fuzzy rainbow hoodie pullover. My only problem with that thing is it doesn't go past my knees. I'd like it to reach my ankles, at least. Much colder, & I'd like to sleep in it.

For now, I want to use my oven to make my place warmer for a little while. I'm trying a Quiche-like pie in my new microwave, using t;he convection oven feature. 

Hi Moon, sending you gentle hugzies, hoping you are feeling better.

Hugzies for you too, Croix

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear MK (wiht a wave to Moon)~

I'm not sure, apart from the fact it is hard to tell what is minor and what is not (the wrong year on a cheque does not work well) I do find my dyslexia makes me spend as much time correcting as typing and that breeds patience - plus time to reflect and maybe alter to write more. So I dunno.

Sumo has taken over Mrs C's chair as Mrs C has retired for hte evening. He even manages to rock it slightly and simply looks smug. He is still in a position to keep a supervisory eye on me though.

It sounds as if you need one of those fleecy garments (Slanket/Snuggie?) that are like a blanket, but with hood and arms. Having to be cold is horrible, quiche or no quiche

I'll just mention - for no particular reason except mischief - how nice it is in front of a wood fire:)

Croix