Young daughters constantly scared

[Kreative]

I have three daughters but the eldest two aged 7 and 8 seem to be in constant fear. If they can't see me in the house they yell 'Mummy mummy where are you?' if I don't answer they become hysterical.

Bed time - they all wake up during the night EVERY night, either bad dreams, wanting someone to sleep with them or asking "what's that noise?" Its like Ichave a brand new baby, I get tense when I hear a loud noise like a siren because I know they are going to freak out. Tonight they ran out screaming when I closed the blinds wanting to know what the noise is.

Its been going on too long and I'm exhausted.

Husband and I are very different as I'm petrified as to why they are so fearful and anxious where he thinks it will just go away.

Help

[geoff]

Hello Kreative, thanks for posting your comment.

Can I ask without wanting to upset you, as you say 'Husband and I are very different', just wondering whether or not the kids are frightened if you have an argument, and I mean this in all sincerity.

Best wishes.

Geoff,

[Summer Rose]

Hi Kreative

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

As a Mum, I can certainly understand your concern. The behaviour you’ve described of your two eldest daughters just doesn’t feel right. Like you, I would want to get to the bottom of what’s causing their fear.

I would start by chatting with their teachers or any other care givers to see if they’re noticing any signs of anxiety or distress when you’re not present. It would be interesting to know how they cope without you and if they are fearful outside the home.

Have a good think about environmental factors within your home. Is there anything that could be regularly waking them up at night? For example, possums jumping on the roof.

Next I’d have a think about their experience within the home. Have they ever seen anything that would give them reason to fear for your safety or their own safety? This could be something they’ve misconstrued, given the active imaginations of children.

Have you recently been apart from the children? I’m thinking that the behaviour is generating a lot of extra attention for them from you, is there a logical reason to drive this behaviour?

Lastly, I’m wondering if they might have watched something on TV or their devices without you knowing that has scared them. This could have happened while they were at a friends house or with say their grandparents.

If you still can’t make sense of the behaviour, then I’d like to suggest that you have a chat with your GP. Book a double appointment so you have plenty of time to talk about what’s happening.

Kind thoughts to you

[missep123]

Hi Kreative,

As a parent I can imagine that it would be so challenging to worry about your daughters and that the situation can be exhausting.

Summer Rose above mentioned some great points, has something ever happened when you were not there that might have triggered this anxiety in your daughters? Speaking to the teachers or caregivers is also a great idea.

How do you feel about mental health professionals such as a psychologist or counsellor? You daughters may then learn some coping mechanisms to help them cope with the distress they are feeling or the psychologist/counsellor may be able to understand why this is occurring.

We are definitely here for you!