Worry, worry worry

[white knight]

I've often said in these forums "worry is non productive". It doesnt produce a thing for your positivity.

You can worry that you have an appointment the next day. Then you dont sleep because you are worried you will sleep in or forget your CV documents or not be dressed up well enough. All 3 things in this example is worry for zero benefit. You can have 2 alarm clocks to prevent you sleeping in, you can place your CV in the car so you dont forget it and you can select your clothing the night before....so off you go and have a good night sleep...bet you dont!!

That's because 'worry' is inground, it's part of you, like a limb. So it's extremely difficult to rid yourself of this burden.

The first and most important step is separating reality with unrealistic thoughts. When we allow out thought patterns to trod along without challenge then we have a problem. Discipline to attack unrealistic thoughts has to be there for many reasons like - the less you think unrealistically the more time you have for real thoughts. And unrealistic thoughts can cause other issues to-

Fear!  In 1987 I had a big dispute at my workplace. A pain in my chest and an abnormal heart beat led to a diagnosis of heart attack. This was incorrect and after a few months it was found to be a panic attack. My therapist asked me weekly what happened during the week and I'd tell him I thought my boss would knock on my door, or my doctor wouldnt believe my fear was real or I really did have a heart attack and they got the diagnosis wrong again. Can you the reader see where I'm coming from?

The next step is relaxation. Learn it. Go to relaxation classes. Learn muscle tensioning exercises. They really work. What you would be doing is learning a task that some do naturally but for some reason you missed out. It isnt your fault but if you dont attack the issue it will be your fault. You wont find a relaxing life and that is not good. Take it from someone who knows.

The last step is prioritising.  Placing things in priority allows you to tackle the hard things first then as you tackle less important things you begin to relax more. Finances is a good example. Low on funds you should be shopping for food instead you decide to get that truck load of manure for the garden. For the rest of the week until pay day you struggle with coins only in your pocket. = worry.

Worry is non productive.It doesnt produce a thing except hurt, anxiety, depression or at least assists these things.

Remove it from your life.

Tony  WK

[white knight]

I want to mention the process of reducing worry and comparing worry to stress and other reactions.

Last week we were in Queensland and had had a terrible 4 weeks of trouble with our caravan we built ourselves 3 years ago, battery, generator etc. Not my building to blame! Since then we spotted another caravan we purchased and we also have a new car to collect that can tow the next caravan.

In the past the process of purchasing items of high value I'd label as "stressful" when in fact it is adrenalin. The process of registration, towing permits, insurance, dealing with such companies and Government Departments  and the like is the stressful part. For me it is important to differentiate the reactions. Adrenalin can be harmless, in fact many athletes are addicted to it. Confusing adrenalin and worry is a problem because treating the adrenalin like it is worry is suggesting a topic of excitement is a matter of burden. Such misdirected conclusions simply adds to our problems and is not realistic. By discounting a reaction that is adrenalin is to "normalise it" and not pile it upon the "worry" heap.

"Worry is indeed non productive". 

Another fact with myself that you might be able to relate, is the adrenalin process. I know myslef well enough to know that my adrenalin will not subside until I'm at the end of the process of arriving home with the new caravan and car and have sold the old caravan and car. Finances, familiarity of new car and van all settled, only then will I feel settled. So having told myself that I'm aware I wont settle for a few weeks. There is little to gain by placing expectations upon ourselves to calm down when such changes are taking place. By having such expectations we are our own worse enemy.

Do you recognise adrenalin, worry , stress as being different from each other?

TonyWK

[criss]

Hi, this so resonates with me. Thankyou for this post Jess and White Knights thread too on worry.

I always need to feel like im doing something constructive or meaningful to validate me..and I seem to see relaxation at times as wasting time too..wrong thinking I know but habit, maybe fear and worry underlying it all. Needing control.

Nevertheless I really felt comforted there are others who have walked my path. 

Im practicing acceptance and letting be at the moment.

[white knight]

Criss, it's comforting seeing a reply from a thread I commenced years ago. Thankyou. 

This one might well assist you too.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

TonyWK