Work stress and anxiety

[Vic1]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong spot. It's a doozy so hold on.

I'll start by saying I love what I do as a job. I've been there for 5 years. I work with children. But recently I have gotten a new boss and she has seemed to be going out of her way to make me miserable. She yanked me out of my room I worked in. She has made me her cleaner - giving me all the dirtiest jobs she can think of. I copped it cause I'm not one to rock the boat. When given my explanation for being taken out of my room she said I wasn't perky enough. On one occasion she spilt water in the toddlers room and gave me a cloth to wash it up, which I did. I started to mop up the floor as some had fallen off the table and she said "there shouldn't be any on the floor" when I told her about it and almost slipping on it She said "well you should have known it was there" she has told me on another occasion that I "shouldn't think or thought I should ask"

Recently I realised I had enrolled in full time uni - thinking it was part time. I applied for a non rostered day and she flat out denied it after telling me she would see what she can do.

Throughout this time I have been trying my hardest to be strong but I have gotten to the point where I would die than be at work with her. Unfortunately if I leave my job I don't get any centrelink and I am a single parent with two children . I am happy everywhere else in life - just not at work and I don't know what I can do! Other workers attempted to go through HR but they swept it under the rug.

I ask cause I'm hoping someone might have an idea of how to get out of the job without the loss of income. I want to work - part time cause I am studying full time - but just not there. I have been looking for jobs but have not got anything yet.

Please help. I'm at breaking point - okay I was at breaking point a few weeks ago I'm barely holding together. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Tokoloshe]

Hi Vic,

This is such an awful position to be in. I am currently in a very similar predicament. I am currently on 2 weeks stress leave due to the toxic culture in my workplace.

People like your work colleague who bully or belittle or generally make life difficult do it because they do not get called on it.

And they become adept at picking their targets. Generally people who are quiet and just trying to get on with the job.

Please do not let this person take away the job you enjoy and the job you rely on to support your family.

I know how difficult and intimidating it is to confront these people, especially if there seems to be no support from management or you have no union rep you could reach out to.

Is there any way you could ask for a meeting with this person to discuss the issues, bringing along a support person? Sometimes when confronted with an honest account of how their behaviour is affecting you, the perpetrator can be shocked/shamed into modifying their behaviour.

Workplace Health & Safety Legislation makes it a legal requirement for employers to provide a safe workplace and mental health is specifically covered. Do you have a WHS rep at work you could raise this with?

I can relate all too well to how paralyzing this can become. And if pursuing any options like those I mentioned isn't something you can do then it is easy to feel trapped and helpless. Sadly, people who bark the loudest often bulldoze their way through life leaving the rest of us in their wake.

We need to take back the power differential and stand tall and deflate their sails. Look for other work by all means but in the meantime remember you are a decent person worthy of respect. Dont cower to this persons games. Her self importance and bluster and bullying only has legs while you give it oxygen. You deserve your job. Go reclaim your space. Bestest of luck.

[Croix]

Dear Vic1~

Welcome here, You are in a horrible position and while it might look pretty hopeless there are things you can do. Tokoloshe has given you some pretty good advice.

Each State and Territory Government has anti-bullying legislation and so does the Federal Government. If it was me I'd start in two places to seek help from those experienced with these matters, trying by yourself is very hard, you need knowledge and support

The first would be our own 24/7 Help Line on 1300 22 4636 who can advice what is available in the way of support near you, the other is:

https://www.fairwork.gov.au/employee-entitlements/bullying-and-harassment

As Tokoloshe has said, you have a right to your job, and to be assisted in doing it, not to be the target of someone else's inadequate personality.

Croix