Work anxiety

[NeenD]

Hello,

I started my new job 9 months ago. I had a bad feeling about the decision I was making to move jobs to begin with but I thought it was just nervous energy during to change.

The job is in the same industry however it is a lot more senior. I was not provided any training for the role, no guidance on processes or how they do things, I was left to my own devices. Every catch up with the boss become a negative experience where she would give me negative feedback. There was no support offered at any stage. In the 1:1 meetings she would make comments such as “why did you even leave you past job”. She would behave in a very passive aggressive manner at times, staring at me, and making passing comments. For example once we had a team meeting about company values where they presented psychometric test results for everyone, I was new so I had to do one per-employment and one post-employment. The results were different, and the comment I revived from my boss was, “oh did you lie to get a job in the pre-employment test”.

More recently, I called a meeting with Snr Management to discuss issues and provide suggestions regarding one of our markets. The meeting was a disaster, it was a failure. My boss made a comment after everybody left, “I knew this was going to happen”!

She would give me feedback to ask questions and then when I do she would tell me how everybody else works independently and I ask too many questions.

Lastly, I had to implement changes to one of my markets. There was a communication brake down on all fronts. I was blamed for it. Because of everything that has happen, I question my own ability to do the job.

I can’t relax, I feel anxious all the time, I can’t sleep properly. I think about the job all the time and it makes me anxious and sad. It makes me question my decision to take this job, I question my ability to find a different job. Everybody loves my boss and sees her as some really nice person. I don’t hate the job but I hate the environment I am in and the people I work with are all in for themselves, there is nobody I can trust or ask for help. I feel scared and anxious to stay there and I feel anxious to move on and get another job as I feel I lost all my confidence. I want my anxiety to stop. I even called help line they have at work to talk to somebody and the lady advised me that I needed psychiatric help after 20 minutes of talking to me in which she mostly talked and I listened.

[Quercus]

Hi NeenD and welcome,

A small but important question to consider... What do YOU want to do?

Only you know your own needs and finances and responsibilities.

This workplace sounds awful and I'm in awe that you have stuck it out. There is no shame in wanting to leave. This workplace doesn't sound like a good place to learn or develop your skills.

Also the longer you are here the more your boss erodes your confidence and self esteem. You got this job for a reason... Because you earned it.

If you choose to stay how can you get some training? Are there any online training options you can do.

I hope you feel able to keep writing

Nat

[SHELBY MUSTANG]

Hi NeenD

i know exactly how you feel I am in a new role at a new company 3 months in and struggling every day, no proper training and I am falling behind, so I need to stay back to 7-8pm to keep my head above water.

I am on medication to control my anxiety and just need to hang in there while I look for another job. Even though the money is good I know deep down this role and maybe corporate life is not for me anymore. Is there another area of the company you can go into.

In all new jobs there is a settling in period it could be 6-12 months so maybe it will improve.

I think maybe put out feelers in the meantime, do you have a profile on LinkedIn, use your network and start applying for other jobs, would your old company take you back. Sometimes a bigger pay packet is not always the answer if it costs you mental health.

[greatoutdoors123]

Hi NeenD,

I just posted a threat relating to this without seeing yours first. I definitely relate to this feeling. Especially the feeling anxious and thinking about work all the time. I wish I had some more practical advice to give you.

I had a past workplace where I did not feel supported by my boss. It was awful, it was a culture of fear and nervousness. I am still recovering from this, so one piece of advice is to go and see a psych the earlier the better if you are struggling! They may be able to help you.

Do you have any co-workers you can go to for support? I hope things get better for you.

[NeenD]

Hello,

Thank you all for responding.

I took a week off from work, I needed to be away from that environment, I was relaxed till today! I remembered what was the reason behind anxiety at this workplace, lack of clarity, lack of communication, lack of mentoring. There is so much one can do on their own, I try to see each day as something new I can learn from my experience and just when I think I figured out how something works, a bomb shell drops and puts me right back to “I have no idea what I am doing”. It drives me crazy. What’s even worst is my bosses passive aggressive attitude. I hate sitting next to her and feeling her energy, it’s just negative and judgmental. I just want to be on my own, but open plan office is the fashion statement of all organisations.

thanks for your responses I appreciate them

[LesDave]

Glad to see you still hanging in there. 1. passive aggressive behaviours are cowardice. So if your boss is exhibiting them, just be aware she is a coward who can't effectively manage a confrontation. 2. I feel your pain. This month (April) is the worst anxiety I've had for 10 years and it is all WORK. I made some errors that created a backlog of work. It was rush rush rush. And I've had a boss tell me the work is not my skill set. I am worried I will be sacked, and I am worried my colleagues don't like the extra load I caused. I feel much better when I do some exercise. I am forcing myself to walk up to 12 kms at a time. I am also forcing myself to eat healthy. (i'm a fried food addict). I try to force myself to stay in the moment. With the actual situation with your work, it looks like they don't like outsiders, so you're going to have to find a way to work with this woman. Maybe there is something you can find out about her that you can help her with.