Why do some people go out of their way to cause stress and anxiety?

[Fiatlux]

Hello to everyone this beautiful Sunday,

I have woken up with a stress headache once again, caused by one person who has been vile to deal with. (He is a customer not family)

All of last week he was deliberately complaining about absolutely nothing, being abusive towards me and my staff. He was deliberately causing confusion and mixing up orders to test me and my staff. To test our service. Calling late at night and becoming an absolute nuisance of himself. I mean calling at 10pm on Friday to complain. I was already in bed trying to recover from the harassment I had been subjected to all week. 

Yesterday I was having an anxiety attack because of not sleeping and this morning, Sunday, Mother’s Day, he started again. The phone calls from different numbers, the messages and videos and voice messages, he sent emails at 11:30pm to stress me out about nothing. A error of his own making. And again calling staff this morning to place an order and then call 30 minutes later to cancel it. Just to create unnecessary work.

Why are some people like this? 

I want to scream every expletive I can think of at him but I have to bite my tongue as he’s threatening to post nasty poor reviews of my service online. 

Tomorrow, I will be telling him that I can no longer provide with any service as he’s threatening to cancel his account anyway. I want to tell him that I don’t need his business. 

What is wrong with someone like that?

I haven’t cried yet, but I feel like punching a pillow and just imagining it’s his face. I want him to know how much stress he’s caused me to a point of breaking down today. I’m exhausted.

Thank you everyone for listening to my rant. Fiatlux 🙏🏼🫶

[Croix]

Dear Fiatlux~

I'm sorry you are placed in this position and it has played so much on you mental health - I think it would on anyone.

Some peple are naturally unreasonably aggressive and enjoy inflicting harm on others. Some do it physically, and others try to make a person's life unlivable. Sadly there are too many of this sort of bullying people in the world.

I think you are very wise to close his account and refuse to trade wiht him. What if he does write an adverse review? Anyone htat knows him will not be surprised, and anyone that knows you will be well aware if it is nonsense.

If he uses differing phones numbers block the lot. and keep a record of any subsequent actions.  As for getting him to understand the harm he has done I don't think you'll ever have any success, such people always see themselves in the right no matter what.

Maybe you are better closing his account via text rather than verbally as that can lead to abuse.

Do you have anyone in yuor life to give you support? Trying to handle this in isolation is very hard.

If you would like to let us know how you get on that would be great.

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Fiatlux! 

You didnt rant at all...This is unnecessary behavior (yes...even from a customer)

You are and have always been a kind hearted person who cares for all people. Your customer has an attitude problem Fiatlux.

Since there is no such thing as a dumb question on the forums. Can I ask what his whining and borderline harassment is about? Being a customer he can only be complaining about....

* service? 

* delivery issues?

* pricing issues? 

* out of stock product?

* complaint about staff?

Just a note Fiatlux if I may...As you know the bulk of reviews on any site are negative so most people take the violin players with a grain of salt

Why did he call anyone at 10pm?

(I am ex Senior management at board level, only if you wish to share the product grouping or his 'beef' 'just so I can try to provide more effective support)

always a bonus to see you on the forums Fiatlux..You are an asset to Beyond Blue.

Paul 

[Fiatlux]

Hi Croix and Paul,

Thank you both for your reply.

I have had time to ignore him today and I am over him. He’s still desperate to get my attention and wants me to bite back, but he’s possibly frustrated now, as I have ignored his tirade.

Recently we have had to make some changes to our service providers and expand our networks, which is a good thing. 99% of clients either did not noticed the change or are not bothered by it. 

I am very pleased with the smooth transition with our new service providers. I will add that a lot of the customers service providers are either former military or police and very well trained at keeping their cool.

All of our phone calls are recorded as staff work 24/7 on rotation and it can be either busy and stressful over night or really quiet. I have had a listen to incoming calls from this client over the weekend and I so pleased at how well the staff responded to the abusive language. 

I am in a position where I can so No, to people who I no longer want to work for. It’s not worth it.

When I think back, he became a customer as he was dissatisfied with his previous service provider. You just cannot please some people. But I refuse to listen to his foul language anymore.

Soon enough he will run out of people who are willing to deal with him.

Have a lovely week. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Croix]

Dear Fiatlux~

It sounds like oyu are on hte right path, ignoring him will no doubt anger him but is by far hte best way. Given time I"m sure he will switch his attentions to some other poor person who will have ot go though what you have.

While being ex-military or ponce does not necessarily make one invulnerable (I should know) in a civilian environment it can be a help, as does debriefing after ridicule calls

The sooner he disappears the better

Croix

[Fiatlux]

Thank Croix,

One of my senior managers, a male, spoke with and quietly asked him what was going on in his life or work life that has caused him to behave like this. He was surprised to have been asked that question as he thought that his behaviour was reasonable.

My manager told him quietly again that he had also listened to the incoming calls and messages and emails and that “he”, the client was behaving like a “drama queen” and he should be embarrassed and ashamed of himself and his actions. I think something clicked as I haven’t heard another word from this client. 

Some times the customer isn’t always right or o.k. Either. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Croix]

Dear Fiatlux~

It sounds as if you have a good manager there , it must have taken a fair amout of skill to leth the customer see himself though other eyes.

Lets hope it is the end of the matter

Croix

[tranzcrybe]

Kudos to your senior manager, FLX (and to you for your self restraint!)

Simply holding a mirror up to the abuser can speak volumes, but showing compassion for what might be at the source of their tirade softens the blow.