What I’ve been telling myself all day

[Elsta]

I’m someone who is allergic to pollen and has asthma, and I frequently have panic attacks worrying that I’m having asthma (it usually turns out to be panic and not actually asthma).

I live in Melbourne and today was forecast to have an asthma thunderstorm epidemic. Today was one of the hardest days for me, and at one point I was lying on the floor in my house saying to myself, if this is asthma and I die today, then it’ll all be over soon and I won’t know the difference.

This thought process helped ease the anxiety, but it’s really upset me. I don’t want to die, I don’t want to leave my family behind to mourn for me. I love living, and I want to keep experiencing life for as long as I can.

Does anyone here have a less depressing thought they use to help manage panic?

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning Elsta

Welcome to the BB forums, I am so glad that you have reached out here in your time of panic and I can hear how desperate you are to get these feelings under control.

I understand that the thunderstorm asthma situation was horrific and a real shock to people, I also think the thing is with breathing issues like asthma that panic and anxiety tend to amplify these symptoms, which most certainly does not help. I think another thing that does not help is that while the media have a job to report news and weather and events that are happening in our world, sometimes it does get so over sensationalized that we do get into a state of panic.

I would like you to consider Elsta that the Thunderstorm issue has only really been around for the past three years, you have been living a happy life and have been able to manage your asthma and take precautions on days when the pollen count is high. You are still alive today and I am sure that we have had many situations that could have impacted your breathing and you didn't know about it, you just went on and lived your life.

I suppose it is true that if you die you wont know the difference, I would like you to consider though that you have been living and happily, until now when these issues have become prevalent in the media. I guess for me I can relate to when the 911 terror happened, I was terrified we were all going to die, it was all over the media and consumed us. I guess my point is I am still here and so are you and you have been living a happy life until now.

It is wonderful that you are so very happy otherwise and that you have a wonderful family, that is fantastic and perhaps you could share this with someone in your family to help you through this time when you do feel panic and anxiety and they can perhaps sit with you, have a coffee and a chat, maybe watch a movie or do something fun together. Try to get a few things lined up that you love doing that can be there ready when you feel like you are becoming panicked and consumed by these thoughts.

I am not sure if I have been helpful to you Elsta but huge hugs to you and you can get through this time.

Hugs

AS

[Elsta]

Thank you so much for your response, it’s actually been helpful and like you suggested I’ve been telling myself that I’ve survived all these years, and it helped enough that I actually went for a short drive before! Much better than thinking what I was thinking yesterday!

I often invite family and friends over, but I worry sometimes that I’m a burden by asking them over too often or to stay longer. They usually will if I ask and they have the time though.

Do you have any tips for anxiety when alone? I find that’s when it’s at its worst..

[Aaronsis]

Hi Elsta

I am so pleased that you found my post helpful, that is indeed what we are here for to give you some support.

Please do not feel like a burden on your family if you need them, if they are not able to come or are busy I am sure that they will let you know, however, that is what family does, support and comfort each other.

Being alone is usually when you hear the noise in your head and the thoughts start to get more and louder, I am wondering what you like to do for fun or if you have any hobbies or interests that you can turn to when you are hearing the noise in your head and can feel the anxiety growing? Perhaps it might be some crosswords or a puzzle or even some drawing or knitting or cooking, just something that can take your brain on a different path and you can see that you are going to be ok and that you are not going to be just fine.

That is so wonderful that you went for a drive in the car, a change of scenery and some fresh air is perfect for this sort of thing, and once again to show you that even outside you are fine.

The other thing you can do is when you are alone and feel like you can't silence the noise is come here and to chat to us and to just let out how you are feeling. We are here for you Elsta.

Hugs

AS

[Elsta]

Hi again, and thanks again for your advice and support 🙂

The thoughts definitely get louder and louder when I’m alone. I try to distract myself with work, games, jigsaw puzzles, etc. and I find it works for a little while, but the anxiety builds in the background or something until I can’t ignore it anymore. Once it gets to that point, I have to lie on the floor (I call it ‘grounding myself’) until I am calm, but sometimes even that doesn’t stop a panic attack from starting. I’m not sure what to do to stop that from happening.

However, I find if I’m aware of anxiety, it can be a double edged sword. On the one hand I can do self talk to lower anxiety, but on the other hand, I can become hyper aware and the thoughts get more intense and I become more anxious. Feel like I can’t win with either awareness or distractions.. in both scenarios my focus can become scattered. Not sure what to do about it...

[RicardoD]

Hi Elsta! Welcome to the forum! How are you feeling today?

Firstly, I think it's great that you're self-aware, that should be a point of congratulations rather than a double edged sword - some people I think may not know and just snap into it, so at least you're trying to head it off at the pass. As for lying on the ground, it's not such a bad idea. If it calms and help you, then stick with it for now - do you know what it is that calms you down by being grounded? Is it the feeling of a vast space or the simplicity or coolness of it? Not that it matters, as long as you have something that works some times you can build on it! 🙂

I had a partner that used to just leave the telelvision on to drown out the silence of being at home alone, but I quite like it. Sitting with a book and a cup of tea just calms me down, or I just stare out of the window watching the world go by if I'm feeling anxious. The first few minutes I just want to write down lists of things to do, my brain just goes mental and I want to jump on my phone or laptop, but eventually calmness prevails and I can think a little more clearly. I think the idea of jigsaws and puzzles is a good one too, a distraction that keeps the mind active. I'm almost finishing Anh Do's autobiography and it's excellent - funny, easy-read, relaxing - but I find I mostly enjoy books that calm me, self-help books that focus on positivity rather than the constant negativity of the news...that to me can be wearing and mostly irrelevant...obviously what works me doesn't work for everyone though ha ha Perhaps try a few different things and see what works for the time-being?

Hope you're having a good weekend and glad the weather isn't as bad as it was a few days ago, think that was horrendous for an asthmatic, so I only hope that's it for this year!