The warmest of welcomes to you 🙂
My heart goes out to you, with you facing one of those incredibly challenging times at the moment. While the financial manager in us can have some good points at times, I find it's a matter of negotiation on certain occasions. If I can convince that part of me 'This is actually a wise investment in my mental, physical and/or soulful wellbeing', it's usually on board with the idea. Not always easy to manage the variety of inner facets that like to challenge us (especially the inner critic at it's worst or our inner stresser).
As a 55yo gal, it's about 20 years since I last took an anti depressant. I'd say the things that have helped me manage without meds up to this point involve 1)a solid commitment to being a detective of sorts and being prepared to call upon other detectives or guides, 2)being prepared to open my mind to new strategies for better understanding and managing my emotions, 3)developing a greater understanding of how I tick mentally, physically/chemically and naturally or soulfully and I'm sure the list goes on but those few are what come to mind at the moment.
With the detective aspect, I've learned that I don't become depressed or anxious for no good reason, so the challenge is to detect why I've become or are becoming depressed or why I've become or are becoming so anxious. If I have absolutely no clue, I give myself no choice but to find someone who can help me identify the reason/s. So, another detective. Whether our detectives include friends, family, a GP, a psychologist, a soulful kind of guide, a brilliant YouTuber, a great author or someone else, the goal becomes about solving the mystery. I find that until it's solved by myself or with the help of someone, I'll stay in the dark part of the cycle. Btw, when I say 'cycle', I find it's about cycling up or graduating to higher and higher levels of self understanding.
There have definitely been occasions where I've considered re-turning or turning again to anti depressants. So far I've managed to live without them since I stopped taking them. While there was one that was absolutely brilliant (in my 20s), when it ceased working the quest for the next best one just become too depressing for me. It just felt too hopeless time consuming and upsetting, leaving me feeling like I was 'broken'. That's when I started exploring different avenues. Of course, there may be an occasion in the future where I do come to rely on the help of an anti depressant. There can be times where we rule them out or rule them in, depending on the circumstances. So important to keep an open mind while we seek to graduate through life.
