Up & Down like a Yo Yo

[OptimisticQuail]

Hello All.
Haven't been back to these forums for close to a year after battling significantly, but importantly with help and support making it through.
Massive thanks to a few on these forums for wise words.

That said, i had a very ordinary week last week (went through possible triggers with my Psychologist) but couldn't decifer what was different.

Question - after feeling moderately good for a while (few months) has anyone dipped into low mood, struggling to get out of bed and finding it hard to be happy?

I remain on medication, i have good support structures and techniques from my awesome psychologist but the overwhelming feelings and thoughts were not nice and consistent.

Cheers.

[therising]

HI OptimisticQuail

When a challenge that's hard to work out comes our way, it can feel undeniably overwhelming and confusing. Constantly questioning the reasons for such a challenges is a wonderful ability that gets us closer to finding answers. If you find yourself wondering a lot, this basically makes you naturally wonderful.

Personally, I'm a mind/body/spirit gal. If you want to rephrase that, you could say thoughts/chemistry/energy. It's incredible how they all interact. Usually, it's the energy aspect that helps me make sense of most things. If I imagine myself like a human battery, the question becomes 'What powers me up and what drains me or leaves me flat?' Overthinking not only drains me, it also doesn't leave much room for natural inspiration to come in (from out of the blue). Constant negativity from the media drains me. What powers me up is open minded people, good hydration, inspiration, wonder (I do wonder a lot), natural excitement, good food, sleep restoration and so on. If you take all these things away, I'm basically 'flat'. I have to be in (a state of) charge to feel connected to life.

There will be times where I think 'What the heck is wrong with me?' Eventually, what comes to mind (inspiration) is 'How have you been charging up?' The answer, 'I haven't been'.

I know this sounds pretty simplistic but I find looking at things this way is what helps keep me out of depression.

🙂

[OptimisticQuail]

Thank you Therising.
Makes sense given i am scientifically minded.

Just struggling to get it all together which can be frustrating although not without lack of trying.

[Not_Batman]

Hi OptimisticQuail

As much as we want to be free of the anxiety and depression, its not uncommon to go through some sort of relapse. Im on sort of a 3 year cycle for Breakdowns, but hopefully what i have done this last 2 years can break the cycle for good.

So seeing a psychologist, you have been learning and practicing coping skills and mindfulness.
sometimes even though we have learned some coping skills and apply them, and being kind to ourselves, and being mindful, our mind and body can get the better of us.

it could be something at work or at home that triggers us, but we sometimes cant pinpoint what it is. Continue practicing and applying the skills you have, and talk to those in your support network.

im here for the same reason as you, i had a bit of a downturn over the last couple of weeks, but the support on this forum has helped immensely.

hope you bounce back real soon.

Not_Batman

[therising]

Hi OptimisticQuail

Science is definitely an interesting angle when it comes to well being. I can remember when I first came out of my depression some years ago, I developed this curious obsession in regard to learning the basics of quantum physics. What was even stranger is that I heard I am not the only person this has happened to. I recall speaking to one lady who said the same thing happened to her when she came out of her derpession; she felt compelled to research quantum physics.

Over the years I've explored many fascinating angles in regard to how we tick. From scientific to psychological to spiritual. Self understanding is an incredibly liberating quest, with many many questions, a heck of a lot of wondering and some mind blowing revelations.

Strange but I found quantum physics ties in strongly with certain aspects of spirituality. In the world of the spiritual or natural, it is said that we 'vibe' or vibrate based on certain frequencies. What you eat, what you drink, what music you listen to, what thoughts play out in your head and much more are tied into how we're vibing (low or high, fast or slow). Quantum physics says a similar thing about us: At a subatomic level, our cells vibrate in certain ways based on various influences (healthy diet, good hydration, music etc).

I've found a fascinating book that ties mind/body/spirit together is 'Becoming Supernatural' by Dr Joe Dispenza. He addresses this triad from interesting angle - Neuroscience/Epigenetics/Quantum physics. It's an easy to understand book. He has a brilliant way of writing. In fact, I regard him as one of my favourite authors. I have all his books. 'You Are the Placebo' is another good one.

I could easily spend an entire day in front of my laptop wondering. From 'I wonder whether gentle hair brushing alters the chemistry in your brain' (which it does, by the way) through to 'I wonder what influences are naturally responsible for lengthening our telomeres', I love wondering and researching. Absolutely love it. There are actually times where my husband and kids have to snap me out of so much wondering, especially if I'm meant to be getting ready to go to work or if I'm meant to be throwing something in the oven for dinner.

At 50, I've found myself returning to that wonderful (wonder filled) 4 year old. It's been a long time since I've been my natural self.

Do you wonder much OptimisticQuail?

🙂

[OptimisticQuail]

I am a very curious but forgetful person.

If i think of something (for example 'what is the brain of a depression sufferer like?' i will need to search for that answer.

However if I don't have my phone or a pen and paper around i will forget to look and it will annoy me.

Not_Batman - yes, the coping strategies (mindfulness, paradoxical sleep intentions and breathing exercises) have been great - when i summon the energy to do them though.

Sometimes i think to myself that the energy it takes to 'get better' outweighs the energy it takes to stay down (which it does) and it takes over me for some time. It's like i get into a space feeling as if i don't want to get better.

I have reduced my medication (through my G.P) and want to finally get off it, which is my goal but i get so frustrated when i cycle back to being pessimistic as i am such an optimist.

Vicious cycle...