Undiagnosed but suspected anxiety

[racer]

HI all,

I'm new here and unsure but think I may have undiagnosed anxiety that I have just learned to live with. I also think this is starting to get out of control.

As a child I suffered from debilitating shyness but learned to overcome by self talk. I am now finding myself encountering irrational thoughts, have feelings of dread, suffer from a random racing heart and always feel the cold (this one has a major impact as I get sick often).

I have noticed my irrational thoughts but always disregarded them. However this week went for a quick trip to the snow with my family and as we were having a snowball fight I had the thought that now something bad was going to happen, found myself looking around for someone watching me and felt like I should get back to my 'normal / work life'. This made me realise that I feel like I need to be always doing the 'right' thing and hanging out, being lazy or just having fun with my family seems wrong.

I teach and increasingly I feel I am not doing enough, I feel students, parents and other teachers are critical of me. I feel I will say or do the wrong thing at anytime and need to watch myself.

I would appreciate any feedback as I am not sure what to think about all this.

Thanks

[geoff]

hellp Racer, I'm sorry you feel this way, anxiety is such an enormous problem amongst us all,and behind it depression wwill follow.
If you google this 'anxiety online test' then it would give you an indiction, plus if you google K-10 this a test to score how you are feeling.
'Doing the right thing' well I'm not sure this could ever be possible, it's like saying what is 'normal', there can't be any such thing to make a person normal, simply because everybody has a different interpretation of the word, so it doesn't exist.
When you say 'students, parents and other teachers are critical of me' I would call that being anxious, and what I suggest you do is book an appointment with your doctor, they will then diagnose you and if need be prescribe medication.
Being anxious could also mean low self-esteem and little confidence which may have been building up over a long period and has now finally made it's presence.
Can you do these tests before you see your doctor and if you are scared of what to say, then write down all the problems you seem to be facing, this will break the ice so that the doctor can pin point some issues to begin with. Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear Racer~

Like Geoff I'd like to welcome you here and think his suggestions of visiting you GP and writing everything down first are spot-on. I'd add that booking a long consultation might be useful.

I'm struck by some things you said that reminded me of stages of anxiety I went though before being properly diagnosed. The first is a sort of generalized and persistent feeling that things are going to go wrong. This was not really sensible but tended to be a sort of feeling that came of it's own accord.

The second was a constant desire to do everything perfectly so as not to lay myself open to criticism. In actual fact this too was an unfounded belief, my work was already good but I tended to spend more and more time 'polishing' things to make them perfect. Long beyond the time of diminishing returns. Also there never was any real threat of people picking up on my work and saying it was bad. Furthest thing from their minds.

This coupled itself with with an inability to make decisions - dithering- plus a tendency to see normal conversation as criticism. My confidence in myself and my abilities hit rock bottom.

It took the removal of the major trigger, therapy, medications and family support to treat this plus my other illnesses. Things were made considerably worse by not being correctly diagnosed and seeking correct treatment early. My condition dragged on for far too long before the correct steps were taken, so I would urge you to follow Geoff's advice and seek help now.

I think we wold all like you to post again and say how you go

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi racer,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I just wanted to add my 2 cents in for what its worth as I also have suffered from anxiety for around 10 years now and some of the things you were saying, resonated with me because I have felt them too. The racing heart and feeling cold was a couple of symptoms I have experienced with my anxiety. The constant feeling of worry and dread that something bad is going to happy is probably the biggest one I face every single day. I hid these feelings for year and tried to pretend it was nothing and that I just need to exercise a little more. It wasn't until I faced up and went and saw my GP and did the mental health test and was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and started seeing a psychologist. It was then I started to find some relief to these symptoms and understand where they came from (mine was unresolved family issues).

I am not saying you have anxiety as I am not a doctor by any means, only someone who suffers from it and can only suggest speaking to your GP. I can say good news is that if it is anxiety, you can get it under control and you can learn to live with it and not let it rule your life.

Please, post back as much as you like, I am always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[racer]

Thank you so much everyone. It is nice to hear I am not loosing my mind. I think I am weary of seeking help as I am scared of what that would mean but I feel this maybe getting beyond my ability to just deal with it myself.

Thank you again!

[Croix]

Dear Racer~

An awful lot of people are very frightened of being diagnosed and having treatment for anxiety and other disorders. As a result sadly many do not take that step and live in unnecessary misery.

The happy fact is most who do subsequently live with meds, and often therapy too, and do so in a way that is undetectable to those around, except for perhaps a noticeable improvement in happiness and capability.

A life with some relief from your symptoms can be a real blessing. Mental illness is just that - an illness - and like most illnesses needs medical attention.

Please let us know how you get on

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi racer,

I know it is scary seeking the initial help out but in the words of one of our great community champions, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by seeking out help.

My best,

Jay