Uncontrollable shakes when confronted

[freshies]

For as long as i can remember i have always stuggled with these pesky shakes when faced with physical or even verbal confrontations. They often get so bad that the only way to handle them is by sitting down.

For example, i was recently at a party and my mate said that someone had just threatened them (it was over a stupid misunderstaning which was later resolved) so i went over to the person (who i had known for pretty much my whole life though we were not that close) and told him not to talk to my mate like that, immediately he was fired up and pushed me so i pushed him back and we had a very mild tussle which was quickly broken up. Straight after i was pulled away i began shaking intensely, people were saying things to me which i couldn't really understand, my face started twitching a bit and my voice went all trembly. i couldn't understand why it had happened and i was forced to sit down because my legs were shaking so severely. In situations following this with other poeple i have tried techniques like deep breathing and postitive self talk but neither reall seemed to help.

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with ordeals such as this one so that i can stay level headed and confident, i would really appreciate hearing them.

Sorry for rambling

[Peppermintbach]

Hi freshie,

The shakes sound very disorienting and confusing. They clearly take a lot out of you as you need to sit down sometimes...

I think it’s great that you’re reaching out here, and that you’re trying strategies like positive self talk and deep breathing. Even if they haven’t been particularly effective, I think it’s really admirable that you’re trying...

Sorry to ask, but I wonder have you discussed the shakes with a doctor? Your body/mind clearly responds when you’re confronted, so I wonder if maybe there’s a biochemical cause behind it, which maybe a doctor can get to the bottom of...

Once again, good on you for reaching out here. If you’re feeling up to it, it would be lovely to hear from you again. But no pressure of course.

Kind and caring thoughts.

Pepper

[blondguy]

Hi Freshies

Welcome and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I have had these awful shakes when I am in a situation that I found confronting too I understand the frustration and sometimes embarrassment that comes along with them Freshie

Sometimes when we are oversensitised our adrenaline can cause these shakes. You are not alone with having these annoying shakes

As Pepper mentioned above....seeing your doc is a really good idea. My GP always mentioned to 'let my hands shake' instead of trying to stop them. I know that sounds odd yet it does work....Worrying or thinking about the our tremors can actually make them worse

Any questions are always welcome....The forums are judgement free and a safe place for you to post too 🙂

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hey freshie

I agree with pepper and welcome you to the beautiful community

I am the same and dislike any confrontation too. I get shaky and my voice begins to shake too. This stems from being conditioned (in the past by my ex husband) to retreat and I essentially go into fight or flight mode. It really gets to me and I find that it unsettles me and unnerves me. I have been to the doctor and spoken to them about this and it’s the above mentioned conditioning and also anxiety around conflict that is a trigger.

I also wanted to mention that it takes courage to speak up to people and that is admirable and something that hopefully instills confidence in you and demonstrates that you’re a good friend and ally. That took courage to defend your friend and I’m sorry it ended in the tussle and you feeling the way you did.

I also agree with pepper and perhaps go and talk to the gp about this as it can be exhausting and taxing on you mentally and emotionally.

i hope this helps and you reach out in need.

Take care

- happygoluckymiss

[islet]

Hi Freshies,

For as long as I can remember i've had the same problem. In primary school I remember getting into 'fight or flight' mode just for being pulled up by the teacher etc. I guess i've always been over-sensitive in most regards, and it always seemed to be linked to anxiety.

As well as shaky, my head also gets cloudy and i can't articulate my thoughts properly, which is really frustrating as in these situations all you want to do is be able to get your point across. I got the feeling this is similar to when you said people were talking to you but you couldn't really understand.

Unfortunately, as an adult I found alcohol was my escape from this kind of anxiety and so I was a regular drinker until recently. I gave up drinking except for the odd social glass, and finally got the courage to seek help from my GP, and really it was the best thing for me to do.

In my experience, the only thing i found that helped me with this overwhelming anxiety is to literally distract myself with a problem that was bigger than the one i perceived i was experiencing. It's not a great coping method and like me, I think yours sounds like it would be hard to control by yourself.

I hope you find some coping strategies, and I can recommend having a talk about it with an understanding GP.

[White_Rose]

Dear Freshies

Hello, lovely to meet you. Welcome to the forum.

A couple of posts above refer to the role of adrenalin in these situations. I'm sure you know we need a burst of energy to get us ready for the fight or flight action. The problem with us these days is the danger in general is not as bad as running away from or fighting a tiger, but we still have the same response.

The rush of adrenalin is still in our bodies because it has not been used up and we get the shaking reaction. The adrenalin has to go somewhere. So you get weak at the knees. Not remembering clearly is also due to the adrenalin. Your blood goes to the organs you need to fight or run away so the brain does not have as much. You can still think etc but it can get blurry. This is why we tend to react the same way to similar situations. The brain says go, blood goes to where it's needed and you produce a wallop of adrenalin. All this happens happens automatically and fast, within a short second.

You have been programmed in some way to react in the way you do. I know because it happens to me and it's horrible. While your brain is not in thinking and problem solving mode you have little control over your actions. You need to practice being calm when you are calm and learning to make this your default program.

Seeing a psychologist can help with this. It does take an effort to learn but the results and benefits are great. Few or no fights, no other reactions and feeling much better about yourself is a good place to be.

Hope this helps. Love to hear from you again.

Mary