Unable to speak my mind

[T40]

Dear members,

I have this fear of speaking my mind. this happens every where except in front of my family members. I fear that I may be judged, or if someone questions what I say, I may not have the right answers to convince the. And I fear I may sound stupid when I say what I think. This effects me and feels like I am carrying a burden. I want say something but can't say it, when I try, it comes out so abrupt, short sentences I feel that it didn't come out right. I see that in people's reactions. I have little social phobia and it makes situations worse. I feel like I should always say right things and I get upset if I make a mistake or can't think of words. I don't act or mingle with people freely. Any help is appreciated.

[Skary Bill]

Hi T@40,

Why not practice on us? Everyone I've encountered here is super friendly and non-judgemental. I know it's not the same as a face to face conversation. But I feel like just practicing the way you frame your thoughts might help you to speak with confidence.

Bill.

[Cocomax]

Hi T@40,

I don’t have the same degree of fear as you do. When I was younger, I always keep quiet in a group conversation as I don’t want to sound stupid or people may judge me on what I say. As I grew older, I realised there are millions of people out in the world & we all have different opinions. Some are better & some worse than mine. When I started working, I realised different ideas no matter how stupid it sounds form part of a brainstorming session. It just means that we considered a wide range of ideas and selects the best. So I am pretty proud of my contribution 😀. Then I work for a very successful person in my community & he speaks his mind regardless & sometimes my ideas are better than his but I often doubt myself. Nowadays, I just say what I want as long as it’s not putting someone down or hurting anyone.

[Leonidis]

Hi T@40,

I've had similar symptons and been struggling with it for a while. It started to give me alot of stress, was leading me into a lonely place.
For a while i thought i was underdeveloped, and haven't learned to handle myself, and at 34 I felt like a teenager again trying to figure it out the world and how to talk to people. For me I found that I had a fear of people judging and criticising. I have been victim to alot of criticism at work and started to think the world looks at me just like the guys do at work. I really struggled to say anything to people because of what they might they say also..
I resulted in opening up to a couple close friends, then my boss and my family, and its formed a little support group. And they've all wanted to pitch in and help however the could, but I just really needed to let people know im having this difficulty communicating.
There was always that fear of opening up to people and what they might think and where your story will end up...But I've found each time I've opened up to my closest ones, its helped lower the anxiety level little by little, it restored a bit of trust in others and gave me a bit more confidence in general. With the little more confidence I have im able to start chipping away at these fears, where as before I could not even finish a sentence..
I've also started counselling and felt a big chunk of fear being chipped away after the first session.
I still get moments of anxiety, but I know its not an overnight fix, but it can be fixed, have faith.
If you have anyone you feel comfortable to talk to, anyone who you feel has time to hear you out, I think would be a good start. You can see your local gp also and they can put a mental health plan together, and offer counselling.
I wish you well