Turning 50 and alone

[Pols]

Hi there I'm about to turn 50 in a week and I live alone, I have family and some friends but it seems as if I'm the one who makes contact. Rarely does anyone get in touch with me to see what I'm doing or if I want to hang out. I have a son who's 23 and he lives just 30 minutes away, he goes to uni twice a week but never comes to visit. I'm supposed to be going to a catch up with friends from school, one I thought was my best friend but we seem to have drifted apart (he lives in the USA now and is in a gay relationship , that's not an issue)this weekend but I don't feel like driving the 3 hours it will take to get there. I'm also broke I have a unit but I seem to live from pay to pay and I just spent 2/3rds of my pay in my car leaving me with almost nothing. It's 3am and I've got to get up for work in an hour 😩

[PamelaR]

Hello Pols

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. You will find the people who post are supportive and caring for those with mental health illnesses.

Turning 50 is a huge step in life. I turned 60 about 4 years ago. Moving into the next decade is always tough, though I think this is more from media hype these days.

You seem to have quite a lot going on for you at the moment - living alone, friend overseas, catch up with friends that you can't get to and money worries. I'd be feeling rather anxious about all that.

Have you thought about making a plan or setting some goals for yourself? E.g.

• if you have the room, get someone in to share. This may help a couple of your issues - help with money, maybe not so lonely.
• see if you can set up a regular catch up with your son. Make the catch up at a neutral place, e.g. park, or cafe for coffee

Do you have any hobbies or interests? For instance you could join a sporting club (golf, gym, swimming) or other type of club (book reading, local darts, games of some sort).

Do you have a computer? You could link up to Facebook - there are many different interest groups out there. For example birds of Australia, trees of Australia, photography groups. Believe it or not, you can make friendship through these. I'm part of a group that meets monthly to enjoy company and things of similar interest.

Do you feel like you have a mental health illness (e.g. anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder)? If so, then go the the BB homepage and look under the facts tab for information about it. Also, make an appt with your doctor. I'd suggest a longer appt than usual to discuss your matters.

Let us know how you get on.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[geoff]

Hello Pols, I had half typed a reply yesterday but time ran out, so I'm sorry but pleased PamelaR has got back to you.

I'm 63 and a lot can happen in 10 years as I know myself, what I could do 10 years ago I have no chance of doing now.

You're about to turn the magic 5- O, so please try and keep yourself active, go swimming, play golf or tennis that's where you will meet other people, because as time goes on we lose contact with the people we were once friends with, it just happens, our health deteriorates or we meet new friends but that doesn't mean your friends have fallen out of contact with you.

Our urge for driving long distances begins to fade away, so we hope they come to us, but when this doesn't happen we get disappointed, the same probably happens in how they are feeling.

Try and meet people close to you at the park or somewhere else you frequent, you seem easy enough to communicate with, and with your son ask him that you would like to see him more. Geoff.