Trying to help young daughter

Cocomax · ‎12-03-2019

Hi. I am new here. Out of the blue, my 12 yo heard a song she didn’t like & it stuck in her head constantly replaying over & over again. Now that’s gone & replaced with a different thoughts over & over again. She also starts counting how many time she drinks, goes toilet etc. then it stopped to be replaced by the feeling of something stuck under her tongue. Basically, her mind keeps replaying different thoughts and this distress her. At first I could give her words of encouragement but it is getting harder & harder. I am sure at some point she even managed to convince me her problem will never go away. She has started seeing a psychologist but haven’t been given a ‘name’ for her condition. Has anyone experience this kind of condition?

romantic_thi3f · ‎13-03-2019

Hi Cocomax,

My initial reaction with your post is that your daughter might be having obsessive thoughts; with the constant replaying and constant counting to the point where it's distressing. This may not necessarily be a condition on it's own.

I'm wondering how much you've talked with the psychologist about this and what her/his thoughts are? Ultimately even if we felt or experienced similar things we wouldn't be able to help as much or give you the insight in the same way that your psychologist can.

Summer Rose · ‎13-03-2019

Hi Cocomax

I am not a doctor but I tend to agree with romantic thief that your daughter may be having obsessive thoughts. Combined with the counting, this could be related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but until you have a proper diagnosis we shouldn't jump to any conclusions.

My daughter fell ill at age 13 with OCD, so I can share some learnings with you.

Obsessive thoughts are often irrational, definately unwanted and can be quite scary to the person experiencing them. Think of them like a dark cloud that unexpectedly blows in. And like the cloud, they will pass. You can remind your daughter that they are temporary thoughts and that they cannot hurt her.

It's also important to remind her that while people do unfortunately fall ill, they also get better. And seeing her psychologist is really brave and important.

Ensure that she knows you love her no matter what.

I can imagine that you too are experiencing a range of emotions. It's hard, I know. You hang in there.

I'm happy to talk as much as you need, for as long as you need.

Kind thoughts to you and your daughter

Cocomax · ‎24-03-2019

Thank you Summer Rose & romantic_thi3f for sharing your thoughts. I did mention to my daughter that the thoughts can’t hurt her but she said it’s hurting her brain. The psychologist didn’t confirm she is OCD but thinks something stressful happened to her a while ago which now manifest itself in this manner. I took her to the hospital as well for assessment but the doctor didn’t recommend her to be assessed by mental health. The doctor says her mind is fixated resulting in her feeling claustrophobic in her mind. Advice to keep seeing psychologist. However, there is no clear answer.

Summer Rose · ‎25-03-2019

Hi Cocomax

The journey toward answers can be challenging with mental health conditions. My best advice is to keep ploughing on.

I'm not surprised by your experience at the hospital. Were you at emergency or seeing a specialist? Just wondering, as I found it very challenging in the past with my daughter to get access to meaningful help through a hospital.

I guess you have to give the psychologist and your daughter some time to work together. Do they have a good rapport? Are you comfortable with the psychologist and his/her approach?

I'm asking because psychologists operate differently and have different areas of expertise. There is some really helpful information on the bb website and a good list of questions to ask to help you assess the psychologist.

In the meantime, you could consider introducing your daughter to mindfulness. This is something you could do together to try and make it "fun". There are many aps available to help you get started, such as Smiling Mind. You might also consider seeing a pediatrician. I found this expertise really helpful on our journey and they can help you to find and manage experienced specialists and services in your community.

Kind thoughts to you

Courage11 · ‎25-03-2019

Hi

My daughter was diagnosed with OCD and this sounds similar to her. One of the best things we did was give this behaviour a nick name. She came up with it. For her is was "marbles". Now we can address it and talk about it. Just this alone is the best advice I can share with you.