Tired

[Truetomyself]

At the moment I feel really tired and exhausted from my anxiety that is now impacting my depression.
I am also tired of having to hide it. Especially with work.
I can't afford to loose my job but I can't say what's really going on.
I am scared and unsure of what to do. I have lost jobs because of my mental health being so up and down.
I have no one to talk about it to.

[Here2Talk]

Hi Truetomyself,

Gee it sounds like it’s pretty bad being in bed for 4 days without eating or drinking.

Have you been to a clinical psychologist? Sounds like you might benefit from proper psychotherapy. Also, you have talked to your GP, are you or have you been on medication for your anxiety/depression? Might help with the mood regulation a little bit.

I understand what you mean about not telling work- my workplace is always boasting about its employee assistance program but I’m sure when push comes to shove they wouldn’t tolerate days off.

I was only thinking today how there should be more provisions for mental health time off without consequence in our legislation...

You mentioned social anxiety, do you have any friends you can talk to? Not even necessarily about your mental health but just to chat - we are evolved to need social contact with others and so this is like a powerful antidepressant in itself.

Here to fill that need somewhat anytime you want though.

[Truetomyself]

I see a trauma therapist but it's a 2 month wait. I am tired. My mum told me she refused to give me a pep talk as I have been through this before. I am struggling with energy and I am on my own. If I have no support, I can't do this.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Truetomyself,

Thanks for stopping by on the Beyond Blue forums,

We're sorry to hear how low you're feeling at the moment. We're also sorry to hear how unsupported you feel at the moment and can imagine how hurtful it would've been to have your mother react this way. Do you think it could be helpful to reach out to a Support Service tonight?  The Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport We'd also let to check in with you privately and have sent an email.  Hopefully, some of our community members will be around soon to offer their support. 

[Here2Talk]

How old are you truetomyself? 16 years is a long time to struggle in distress. I don’t know the details but from what you have said your mum is acting in a very un-empathic way to you.

Has her attitude always been like this toward you? Humans need close to unconditional love and acceptance from at least one person growing up.

Sorry to hear about the wait for therapy, that’s not good enough is it.

[Truetomyself]

I am 39 and there is no empathy. All I want is a hug and to feel worth something. We use to be close and now she mocks me. Therapy is always a wait from one appointment until the next. Every psychiatrist has their books closed.

I am trying but I am unwell too. I have an abusive father too.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Truetomyself,

Thank you so much for keeping the community updated on how you've been going. We are so sorry to hear what you're going through at home, and understand that it can be very difficult to live with abuse. It must be so painful and disheartening to be put down by those who should be supporting you, but please know that you are strong, valuable and you have a right to live free from abuse.

We hope you know that extra support is always available to you in between your appointments, from the kind counsellors at our Support Service on 1300 22 4636, or through webchat at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. We'd also really urge that you contact our friends at 1800RESPECT, who offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely, supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to people in your situation, and you can contact them anytime on 1800 737 732 or also through their webchat at: https://www.1800respect.org.au 

However, if ever you feel unsafe, it's really importanty that you contact triple zero and ask for the police. 

You might also find some advice in reading the stories of others. Some threads you might be interested in reading include:

"Living with my abusive parents"
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/hi-i'm-new-si...

"Abusive parents and their effect on us, their children"
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/ptsd-trauma/abusive-parents-and-their-effect...

We hope that you can feel the empathy from our community here, and please know that you are indeed worthy and deserving of support. You're never alone here.
 

[Doolhof]

Hi Truetomyself,

I can feel your anguish. I know what it is like to be in a really dark place where you feel that no one understands or cares. I know that is my mind telling me those things! I have been in a place where I have struggled to see any way out or any purpose.

It is hard for people who do not suffer from mental health issues to realise what it is like, to comprehend what is going on in our minds.

It may feel like you are alone, but you are not. Sophie_M has been reaching out to you as have other people here in this amazing community.

I'd like to encourage you to continue to use the support services. They have helped me through some really dark times.

Is there one thing you could do for yourself today to help you feel like your day is more manageable and acceptable?

Some days just sitting outside having a cup of tea refreshes me.

Kind regards from Dools

[Bibbetyboo]

Hi, I am in a similar position to you well from what I read.
I have struggled for years after a mental breakdown in year 12. I am now 36 and have never been able to keep a job but don’t have any reason.
My family have completely distanced themselves my whole life. They say I am too sensitive and just difficult and dont bother inviting me to gatherings but even when they did it was so awkward. I heard from a family friend they laugh and backstab me when I’m not there.
My mother only responds with an emoji, no matter what i write.
I am not difficult. I understand people have their own stuff and dont have time for my constant problems so i shut down only to be told I’m to blame for missing out.
I have no money, no savings no job no car and a 10 month old son whoe’s father is on an IVO. I only just got us out of a year of homelessness after family violence.
I am now a single mother and caring for my son helps me so much to put it all away somewhere else. Its still there but its so small now, all the pain all the depression.
This might seem silly but have you considered maybe getting a dog or cat? Just someone to come home to, to spoil to love?
Maybe..i don’t know. My son is a new heart for me though i am still very broken I live on and fight very hard for him not to be.
Peace be with you from the bottom of my heart.

[Doolhof]

Hi Bibbetyboo,

I just want to thank you for sharing your story here. I am so sorry for the way your family treats you and they are not there to support and help you. It can be hard for people to understand what we are experiencing.

I wish you and your son all the best and hope you are both safe and can grow together in love, with a caring bond.

We all need someone to love. Sometimes we need to start with loving/accepting/liking ourselves more.

Wishing you all the best, kind regards from Dools

[quirkywords]

Truetomyself

I can sense the pain and struggle in your words.
Despite your problems you are writing here and trying hard. I am sorry the people you want empathy from are not there for you.

I am glad people are offering you support here.

You are not alone and we are listening.