Tips to help feel more control in life

[Kazkat]

Hi I have had anxiety since I was a child. I can't remember a time when anxiety didnt control my thoughts. I am really interested in anyone's tips on strategies to feel more in control of your life and in your relationship

[Guest_2350]

Hi kazkat

nice to meet you.

I can relate as I do have had anxiety all my life. It took me years to ‘believe’ professionals that I have anxiety, because that’s all I knew, I thought everyone feels that way. For me that was the first step, to actually see what anxiety is and to be more aware of when I have an anxiety or panic attack, when I numb myself, avoid, distract... I notice some myself or sometimes my care team gently explores with me why situations get out of hand.

I’m starting to understand that it may not be about controlling the anxiety but to lean into it, to be aware of it and how to ground, soothe or distract myself. I’m starting to understand that sometimes safety behaviours are ok and sometimes they need to be addressed, challenged etc. I’m starting to understand that it’s ok to ask for help.

I think for me that will be a continuous journey, I don’t think it can be controlled or fixed.

Do you have supports in your life, family, friends, a therapist or GP that can help you when your anxiety is difficult to live with?

Take care and keep reaching out, there are a lot of people who understand and sincerely care. You’re not alone.

[Emmen]

Hello Kazkat,

Welcome to the forums.

For me, practicing mindfulness helps because I start becoming more aware of the way my body is feeling. That helps me know when I'm getting anxious or recognise a panic attack as a panic attack rather than as a health condition (which causes even more panic).

It also helps to actively try and and control the things that cause you anxiety where you can. For instance, if a job is causing you anxiety, then perhaps look into changing jobs and removing yourself from that environment. I recognise that not all triggers can be avoided, so this is only for those aspects you can control.

I've also learnt not to blurt out the negative thoughts that come into my mind because of anxiety since those can often cause tension with people (especially in relationships). It helps to take some time and reflect on those thoughts, seeing if there is a factual basis for it, before speaking of it to the people who are the subject of those thoughts.

Take care,
M

[Gambit87]

Hi Kazkat!

Welcome to the forums!

The 2 strategies that come to mind is mindfulness and acceptance. Practicing mindfulness and learning acceptance has really helped me live with my anxiety.

For me, Mindfulness is a way to connect to the moment, become aware of my surroundings, what my senses are experiencing etc. It helps me calm my anxiety.

Acceptance. Learning to accept my life for what it is has been a huge thing for me. I used to compare myself to others, I would always put myself down when others around me looked like they were moving onwards and upwards in life.

Ive learnt to accept and not to compare myself to others. Life is about the journey, not the destination and right now I am really happy where I am in life.

youre not alone here!